Wednesday, July 30, 2014

I am what i am

I am what I am if you don't like Me, turn your head and walk away. Simple as that.

Grandpa and his intelligence

IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.

I’m not sure the IRS finds… that believable.’

I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘How about a demonstration?’

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’

Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’

The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.

Monday, July 28, 2014

I'm strong; because I know my weakness.

I'm strong; because I know my weakness.
I'm beautiful; because I see my flaws.
I'm a lover; because I have felt hate.
I'm fearless; because I have been afraid.
I'm wise; because I have been foolish. 
& I can laugh; because I have known sadness!