7 Things Men Really Want In A Relationship.

We have often written about how to impress women and what they, now its time we talk about what men like and need in their relationships. Men are often reluctant to discuss things they need emotionally and prefer to be quiet and suffer inside, but as a wonderful partner you probably want to know what your man really needs from your relationship. Here are some obvious needs for men:

• Appreciation
Men often complain that their partners don’t appreciate them or say what they like about them. The term ‘male ego’ is famous, and as a partner you must take care of your man’s ego. Praise him and appreciate his effort, efficiency, love, and sexual prowess. They really love to hear how good they are in bed. Most men don’t require constant appreciation but when something is good why not just say it and improve his day? Keep telling your man about his good looks, gestures, and whatever you like about him.

• Communication
Often women feel their men should get their clues or hints to find out what’s missing or bothering them, but men actually need good communication to know these things, and will rarely get your clues. Lack of communication leads to disappointment in women (as to why he is not getting any clue) and irritation in men.

• Live your own life
Men want their partners to have their own life and keep their own identity. This does not mean they don’t love you or are not interested in you, they will support you in your activities and plans. Have your own set of friends, goals, activities, and passion. You must have a life which is going to surprise your partner every day in a happy manner.

Third Eye Kiss

The 3rd Eye Kiss can be an uplifting experience. Kiss the center of the forehead in between their eyebrows, with a thought of compassion for that person. It activates the pineal and pituitary gland of the person and brings a sense of security and well being to that person. Try it with folks you love and care about; the experience may be very healing. You will find the pineal gland mentioned in many ancient scriptures.

Third eye center is situated between the eyebrows. It is generally dormant spiritual center but it’s activation gives you insight , intuition and connection to your higher centers. If you genuinely love someone and care for , Third eye kiss can be a great uplifting experience for both of you.

The Missing Rancher

A rancher dies and leaves everything to his wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher’s widow said to the hired hand, “You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels.”

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return. Two o’clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

When Trust Is Broken

I find that sorry has an arbitrary meaning anymore. People say it so often in life that when you mean it, it’s hard to differentiate when it’s real. If you bump into someone, you arbitrarily say, I’m sorry or drop a coin as your handing back change, “I’m sorry” but when it counts you say it and how is one to differentiate what’s true and what’s arbitrary? No one means to do what they do and if they do, why should u be “sorry” especially if there’s intent. So don’t be “sorry”. Live with intent, check to see that they’re ok when you bump into them, pick up the coin and say “there you go”! Stop being overly polite. ~ Michael Bonacci

Sorry works when a mistake is made, but not when trust is broken. So in life, make mistakes but never break trust. Because forgiving is easy, but forgetting and trusting again is sometimes impossible.

Trust means everything, when that’s gone, it’s hard to rebuild no matter how hard you try. It’s impossible to get back!

7 Signs Your Relationship Worths Keeping

We can sometimes wonder if our relationship is worth saving. No relationship is perfect, but that does not mean you should end it because of inevitable ups and downs. There may be several issues on which you don’t agree, but often opposites attract. In spite of having several differences if you notice the following signs this relationship is worth keeping and don’t let her/him go:

• He/She is one of your favorite people
We may have many friends and love to spend time with them, finding your best friend in your partner is incredible. If you love doing many of the same things, enjoy spending time together as friends, and he or she is one of your favorite people to spend time with then your relationship is worth it. It’s hard to find a friend in your partner, if you have one don’t let them go.

• You Grow Together
Growth is important in every relationship. If you can both see a good future together and you are growing and discovering yourself being with your partner, keep your relationship safe. You have a similar mindset about the future, and that is worth keeping.

• You are not thinking about anyone else romantically
It’s normal to notice attractive people, there is a difference between noticing them and seeking them out or calling and emailing them. If you want to indulge in any type of relationship with someone else you should end your current relationship.

Top 5 Things Single Men Are Looking For In A Relationship

It is one of the age-old questions. In this post, we will explore the top five things single guys are actually looking for in a relationship. Take good notes:

1. Loyalty
Yes, this may sound cliche but the truth is that while men are stereotypically cast as commitment-phobic, when a man is wanting to settle down, he wants the same loyalty from his partner. Being loyal, which can encompass everything from fidelity to simply defending his honor in front of your sometimes caddy girlfriends, is of the upmost importance.

2. Room for Growth
In the ongoing assumption that many single men fear commitment, often times the fear comes from an innate nature to explore, expand, and try for more. A relationship with someone who still encourages room for growth and, perhaps, wants to grow as well allows the man to feel as though he still has a certain degree of freedom to explore and expand his horizons.

3. Companionship
There is a reason they call dogs “man’s best friend.” Now, before you get up in arms for fear that you have been compared to a dog, know that this means you’re hoping to join in adventures with him, happy to be at his side and go out into the world together, as partners.

Conversation Between a Husband (H) and a Psychologist (P)

Conversation between a Husband (H) and a Psychologist (P):

P : What do you do for a living Mr. X?

H : I work as an Accountant in a Bank.

P : Your Wife ?

H : She doesn't work. She's a Housewife only.

P : Who makes breakfast for your family in the morning?

H : My Wife, because she doesn't work.

P : At what time does your wife wake up for making breakfast?

H : She wakes up at around 5 am because she cleans the house first before making breakfast.

P : How do your kids go to school?

H : My wife takes them to school, because she doesn't work.

P : After taking your kids to school, what does she do?

H : She goes to the market, then goes back home for cooking and laundry. You know, she doesn't work.

P : In the evening, after you go back home from office, what do you do?

H : Take rest, because i'm tired due to all day works.

P : What does your wife do then?

H : She prepares meals, serving our kids, preparing meals for me and cleaning the dishes, cleaning the house then taking kids to bed.

Whom do you think works more, from the story above???

The daily routines of your wives commence from early morning to late night. That is called 'DOESN'T WORK'??!!

When you lose yourself in the process of loving someone

The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.

You have to believe and to remember all the time that you are special and you deserve to be happy and keep it in your mind when you are in a relationship. ~ Radia Amani

These 24 Socrates Quotes Will Make You Question Life

Socrates was one of the most influential philosophers of all time. His writings are not only inspirational, but they will make you question life in a very unique way.

Here are 24 Socrates quotes that will make you question life:

1) “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”

2) “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

3) “There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance.”

4) “I cannot teach anybody anything. I can only make them think”

5) “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

6) “Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.”

7) “By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”

8) “He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.”

9) “If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.”

10 Things A Woman Should Never Do For A Man

Research indicates that women tend to be discussion-oriented and strive to communicate through dialogue. Emotion takes center stage book-ended by multiple choices and over analyzing problems. Men, on the other hand, are more straight to the point, or action-oriented.

Part of being in a relationship includes compromises. Those compromises usually involve doing things for our partner that we would not normally do. What is important for women to remember is that it is alright to take a stand every now and then. Giving in isn’t always the answer no matter how much you love someone.

Here is a list of ten things that women should never do for a man:

• Give Up Your Dog – If your lover is allergic they have medications for it. You should never have to give up something you love just to please someone else.

• Starve – Exercise is great, but don’t starve yourself just to please him.

• Have Children - Having kids is a serious commitment that you BOTH have to be on board with for it to work out. Don’t have kids just to please him if you aren’t ready for them.

Difference between Wife & Girlfriend

Difference between Wife & Girlfriend

Wife is like a Tv &
Girlfriend is like a Mobile
At home you watch Tv, but when you go out you take your Mobile.

Sometimes you enjoy Tv, but most of the time you play with your Mobile.

TV is free for life,
but for the Mobile, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.

TV is big, bulky & most of the time old.
But the Mobile is cute, slim, curvy & very portable.

Operational costs for TV is often acceptable, but for the Mobile it is often high & demanding.

TV has a remote, Mobile doesn't.

Most importantly, Mobile is a two-way communication (you talk & listen) but
with the TV you Must only listen (whether you want to or not)

Last but not least..
TV's don't have viruses, but Mobile's often do...
Take Care.

Issued in Public Interest.

15 Ways To Keep A Relationship Working (advice)

15 Ways To Keep A Relationship Working (advice)

1. Love each other
2. Don't lie

3. Keep communication open

4. Stay sweet

5. When you get hurt just forgive and forget

6. Never talk about break-ups

7. Never say it's okay even when it's not

8. Forget about "pride"

9. If you say sorry mean it

10. Don't compare your past with your present

11. Don't talk about your stupid ex's

12. Give and take process

13. Beware of his/her feelings

14. When you had a fight, don't let the day pass

15. Don't be the perfect one, be the right one.

Customer Complaints

Customer Complaints

A man was carrying 2 babies, one in each arm, while waiting for a train.

A woman upon seeing those 2 cute babies asked the man, “Aren’t they cute, what are their names?”

The man giving the lady an angry look replied, “I don’t know.”

The lady then asked, Are they boys or girls?”

The man looking angrier than before replied “I don’t know.”

The woman then started to scold the man, “What kind of a father are you?”.

The man replied, “I am not their father, I am just a condom salesman and these are the 2 complaints that I am taking back to my company.”

When God Created Woman

By the time the Lord made mothers, He was into the sixth day working overtime. An Angel appeared and said “Why are you spending so much time on this one?”

And the Lord answered and said, “Have you read the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not elastic; have 200 movable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up; have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart; and have six pairs of hands.”

The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. “Six pairs of hands! No way!” said the Angel.

The Lord replied, “Oh, it’s not the hands that are the problem. It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!”

“And that’s on the standard model?” the Angel asked.

The Lord nodded in agreement, “Yep, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word.”

The Faithful Dog - A Touching Story

BEAUTIFUL STORY

There is a story of a woman who had a faithful dog. This dog was so faithful that the woman could leave her baby with it and go out to attend other matters. She always returned to find the child soundly asleep with the dog faithfully watching over him.

One day something tragic happened. The woman as usual, left the baby in the “hands” of this faithful dog and went out shopping. When she returned, she discovered rather a nasty scene. There was a total mess. The baby’s cot was dismantled and his nappies and clothes torn to shreds with bloodstains all over the bedroom where she had left the child and the dog. Shocked, the woman wailed as she began looking for the baby.

Presently, she saw the faithful dog emerging from the under the bed. It was covered with blood and licking its mouth as it had just finished a delicious meal. The woman went berserk and assumed that the dog had devoured her baby. Without much thought she clubbed the dog to death.

As she continued searching for the “remains” of her child, she beheld another scene. Close to the bed was the baby who, although lying on bare floor, was safe. And under the bed the carcass of a jackal torn to pieces in what must have been a fierce battle between it and the dog which was now dead.

Then the reality hit the woman who now began to understand what took place in her absence. The dog fought to protect the baby from the ravenous jackal. It was too late for her now to make amends because in her impatience and anger, she had killed the faithful dog. A dog deserving praise and adoration that fought to save the life of her dear beloved child received death in return.

Moral: How often have we misjudged people and torn them to shreds with harsh words and even with physical assault before we have had time to evaluate the situation? It is called the SIN OF PRESUMPTION. Presuming things are one way without taking the trouble to find out exactly what the situation really is. A little patience can drastically reduce major lifelong errors.

10 Type Of Woman And Men You Should Never Marry

10 WOMAN A MEN SHOULDN’T MARRY

1. The Late Night Texter
You know, the girl who only texts you after midnight. She’s the girl who only contacts you when she wants something, or someone to talk to. You can go weeks without hearing from this person, only to rarely get a text full of smiley faces and a message that reads, “Hey! How are you?” They aren’t consistent. Don’t fall into the trap.

2. The Gold-digger
She’s the woman who loves your wallet, bank account, and credit cards. Be sure to stay away from a woman who is only interested in material things, and how much of these things your salary can buy her.

3. The Flirt
This woman loves to flirt with strangers, waiters, and even your friends. The woman you should seek is one who flirts with you and only you, no matter the circumstance. That last thing you want is to be married to someone who will deliberately flirt with people in front or you, let alone behind your back.

4. The Liar
Don’t trust a woman who is constantly lying to you. If you continue to ignore her inconsistencies, she could eventually do something detrimental to your relationship.

5. The Flake
This is the woman who calls off dates, constantly changes plans and never shows up when she promised she would. If you think this will change once you’re married, you’re wrong. A flakey woman will never put her man first.

6. The Partier
Stay away from her. Although she may seem as a fun and outgoing, I guarantee you will be better off with someone who stays away from gatherings full of bad mistakes and regretful decisions. The lifestyle of a partier never fits well with the maturity that is needed in marriage.

I'm an Engineer.

An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want. "

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?

I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want.
Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer.

I don't have time for a girlfriend, but having a talking frog, now that's cool."

I Really Hate Two Faced People

I really hate two faced people. 

It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.

True Love Will Always Find it’s Way

This guy from England and this girl from India met online, and gradually began to chat to each other regularly and became good friends

After a few months, they expressed their love for each other. They were happily inlove for a few weeks, until one day suddenly the girl stopped responding to the guys messages.

He waited and waited ..

Weeks passed, and he still sat by his internet awaiting her message, but nothing..

He was scared something had happened to her, his heart felt like it did but eventually he accepted the fact that their relationship was over. He was heartbroken .. He cried himself to sleep everyday reading her old love messages.

After a few years, he had just started university. After all this years, he stayed away from girls because he couldn’t stand the heartbreak, but one girl took his fancy. A beautiful women, it was weird as he never even looked at girls before, but there was something special about her. So he approached her, but was rejected instantly.

Boy: I’m sorry, if I offended you by saying I liked you.

Girl: It’s not your fault .. It’s just that I’m already in love with someone ..

Boy: Oh right, I’m sorry. Your already taken

Girl: Actually no.. I fell in love with a boy three years ago, he was from here, but due to the circumstances I had to leave him, but now as an excuse to study I have come here in search of him..

Boy: Wow! Actually I’ve been through something similar!

Girl: Really? What was her name?

Boy: Alisha (when he looked down at the girls book it was labelled ‘Alisha’..)

They embraced each other and burst into tears!

Boy: Why did you leave me??

Girl: I met with a car accident, and was in the hospital paralysed for a year .. I only fully recovered 6 months ago. Everyone thought I was going to die, but the thought of seeing you kept me alive. When I got better, I planned to come and see you to surprise you, you told me you would only want to go to  this university so I applied here too.

MORAL: True love will always find it’s way; No matter what obstacles are in it’s path. If your love is true; Just wait for it to find you ..♥

A Great Marriage Story

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”

30 Sad Quotes

♥ I don’t run from you, I walk away slowly, and it kills me , ’cause you don’t care enough to stop me.

♥ When you walk away, I count the steps that you take.

♥ “I love you” is eight letters long, but then again so is “bullshit”.

♥ I wish I had saved all the tears you made me cry, so I could fucking drown you in them.

♥ Who do you turn to, when the only person in the world who can stop you from crying, is the one making you cry?

♥ I run in the rain, so that nobody can see my tears.

♥ Maybe when he broke my heart, he forgot I could feel.

If She Tells You You’re an Idiot

She doesn’t say ‘I love you’ like a normal person. Instead, she’ll laugh, shake her head, give you a little smile, and say… ‘You’re an idiot’. If she tells you you’re an idiot, you are a lucky man.

Lovers create their own “secret language” to express their emotional near to each other. This is something very intimate and something very special. ~ Ingrid Bahtiyar

No one has a right to judge what is said between two people on how they express their love. If it works for them, that’s all what matters. ~ Brigitte Nicole

Top 10 Turn-Ons For Women Every Man Should Know

Whereas men are most visually and physically stimulated, much of a woman’s ability to be turned on relies on what’s going on her mind, emotions, and the gradual building of desire. For those who find women’s requirements for a horizontal tango a bit tricky, here are 10 turn-on tips you must know.

Improve The Atmosphere

Filthy surroundings, bad smells, or distractions such as loud noises and barking dogs will kill the mood for a girl in no time. To turn her on improving the environment by keeping it clean, improving smell by lighting some scented candles or playing some music you know she enjoys.

Start Off with Sensual Touches

Women like to ease into romance moment, so when first initiating start out with long, gentle caresses that will tease her into wanting more. Starting out too rough or groping will feel jarring and put her off.

Whisper in Her Ear

This is easy, yet very effective way of turning her on, especially when out in public. Whispering what you want to do with her later will give her the excitement of anticipating getting to be alone with you later.

Don't Overreact In Every Situation

Real Funny Story.. Very Very Funny.. Must Read and Share to Everyone..

  

In a factory: A man standing on the floor and looking aimlessly......

CEO of that factory came and asked his salary...

Man replied "5000 sir"

CEO took out his wallet and gave 15000 and told him...

"I pay people here to work and not to waste time, This is your 3 months salary.

Now get out of here. Never come back"

That guy left............

Then CEO asked workers "Who was that guy?"

Workers replied "Courier Boy Sir".. 

Moral: Don't overreact in every situation! 

Count Your Wrist Lines On Your Hand And Check What It Means

Bracelet lines, which are the curved and horizontal lines directly below the palm of one’s hand, are metaphysically significant in a variety of ways. Most notably, these lines, also known as Rascette lines, indicate how long and prosperous one’s life will be. However, they can also give clues to destiny, health, and balance of mind, body, and spirit. To find what your bracelet lines mean, you must look at the number of lines you have as well as their respective shapes, lengths, and depths.

The first line, which is the line directly below the palm, when defined and unbroken signifies at least a life of 28 years but possibly much longer.

The second line, if defined and unbroken, hints at a much longer life of at least 56 years and one that is prosperous and joyful.

The third line, which is the lowest line most people have, indicates a life of around 84 years or longer and one in which you will be greatly influential. This could mean that you’ll be famous or that you’ll have a grand impact on your field.

While most people have three bracelet lines, some fortunate ones will have four lines. For these people, the fourth line strengthens the third line. Those with four bracelet lines have a great chance to live to be nearly 100 years old and to have an even greater influence on the world around them.

However, Bracelet or Rascette lines have different implications for both men and women.

If Someone ask Me who is your Best Friend ?

If Someone ask Me who is your Best Friend ?

I will simply say ...

''Someone who'll never avoid Me just because of someone else''.

Technology can be our best friend, and technology can also be the biggest party pooper of our lives. It interrupts our own story, interrupts our ability to have a thought or a daydream, to imagine something wonderful, because we're too busy bridging the walk from the cafeteria back to the office on the cell phone.~ Steven Spielberg

My best friend is the most important girl, outside of family, to me. I met her when I went to college and we bonded immediately. I'd do anything for her at any time. We phone each other every day.~ Dawn French

8 Lies My Mother Told Me – A Touching Story

This story begins when I was a child: I was born poor. Often we hadn’t enough to eat. Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her portion of rice. While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she would say “Eat this rice, son! I’m not hungry.” 

This was Mother’s First Lie.

As I grew, Mother gave up her spare time to fish in a river near our house; she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could give me a little bit more nutritious food for my growth. Once she had caught just two fish, she would make fish soup. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat the what was still left on the bone of the fish I had eaten, My heart was touched when I saw it. Once I gave the other fish to her on my chopstick but she immediately refused it and said, “Eat this fish, son! I don’t really like fish.”

This was Mother’s Second Lie.

Then, in order to fund my education, Mother went to a Match Factory to bring home some used matchboxes, which she filled with fresh matchsticks. This helped her get some money to cover our needs. One wintry night I awoke to find Mother filling the matchboxes by candlelight. So I said, “Mother, go to sleep; it’s late: you can continue working tomorrow morning.” Mother smiled and said “Go to sleep, son! I’m not tired.”

This was Mother’s Third Lie.

When I had to sit my Final Examination, Mother accompanied me. After dawn, Mother waited for me for hours in the heat of the sun. When the bell rang, I ran to meet her.. Mother embraced me and poured me a glass of tea that she had prepared in a thermos. The tea was not as strong as my Mother’s love, Seeing Mother covered with perspiration, I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said “Drink, son! I’m not thirsty!”.

This was Mother’s Fourth Lie.

After Father’s death, Mother had to play the role of a single parent. She held on to her former job; she had to fund our needs alone. Our family’s life was more complicated. We suffered from starvation. Seeing our family’s condition worsening, my kind Uncle who lived near my house came to help us solve our problems big and small. Our other neighbors saw that we were poverty stricken so they often advised my mother to marry again. But Mother refused to remarry saying “I don’t need love.”

Everyone can say I love you but not everyone really means it

Everyone can say I love you but not everyone really means it. So believe it when you see it, not when you hear it.

I’m not open to many people

I’m not open to many people. I’m usually quiet and I don’t really like attention. So if I like you enough to show you the real me, you must be very special.

If someone really wanted you, they’d actually put some effort into trying to get your attention, and make sacrifices for you. They wouldn’t just tell you they wanted you; they’d show you in every little way possible that they want you.

Funny Interview

Funny Interview

Interviewer: There are 500 bricks on a plane. You drop one outside. How many are left?
Applicant: That’s easy, 499

Interviewer: What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge.

Interviewer: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.

Interviewer: It’s lion’s birthday, all the animals are there except one, why?
Applicant: Because the deer is in the fridge.

Interviewer: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?
Applicant: She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion’s birthday.

Interviewer: Last question.
In the end the old lady still died, Why?

Applicant: Err….I guess she drowned?

Interviewer: No! She was hit by the brick. You may leave now.

What each gesture means ?

Holding Hands: We definitely like each other.

Holding you tight pressed against each other: I want you.

Looking into each other’s Eyes: I like you, for who you are.

Playing with Hair: Let’s fool around.

Arms around the Waist: I like you too much to let go.

Laughing while Kissing: I am completely comfortable with you.

People Come Into Your Life For a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. ~ Unknown

How to Treat a Girl?

1. Whatever you do, don’t just show up at their house…they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. Don’t cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out.

3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn’t even wait for the damn hat.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they’re beautiful.

5. Don’t refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it’s because they’re jealous.

6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.

7. Don’t be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they’re going out with you in the first place, it’s because they like being in your arms.

8. You can be dirty minded in private, really…most of them are not offended by it…

9. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.

10. Most of them don’t mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it .

11. Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!

Angry Wife Joke

Wife comes late at night & quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two!

She reaches for a Baseball bat & starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to drink water.

As she enters, she sees her husband there reading a magazine..

Husband says..”Hi Darling !! Your Parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our Bedroom. Hope you have said hello to them!”

Best Divorce Letter Ever

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. … Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favourite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me any more; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me any more; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband,

The Married Couple and the Fairy

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, Romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful Fairy appeared on their table.

She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’

The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.‘

The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: ‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again…

I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me..‘

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!..

Who is Happy? The Peacock and The Crow Story

A Crow Lived in the Forest and was absolutely satisfied in life. But one day he saw a swan… This swan is so white and I am so black…crow thought.

This swan must be the happiest bird in the world.

He expressed his thoughts to the swan. “Actually,” the swan replied,

“I was feeling that I was the happiest bird around until I saw a parrot, which has two colors. I now think the parrot is the happiest bird in creation.”

The crow then approached the parrot. The parrot explained, “I lived a very happy life—until I saw a peacock. I have only two colors, but the peacock has multiple colors.”

The crow then visited a peacock in the zoo and saw that hundreds of people had gathered to see him.

After the people had left, The crow approached the Peacock..

Three simple rules in life

Three simple rules in life: 

If you do not go after what you want, you'll never have it. 

If you do not ask, the answer will always be no. 

If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place. 

Take a chance, life is very short!

Psychology

A guy asked a girl in a library;

“Do you mind if I sit beside you”?

The girl answered with a loud voice; "I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!"

All the students in the library started staring at the guy and he was embarrassed.

After a couple of minutes,

the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and she told him “I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, -

I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”

The guy responded with a loud voice: "$200 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!? THAT’S TOO MUCH!!!" And all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears;

“I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty"

12 Things Every Person Who Loves A Woman Should Know

The internet is full of relationship and dating advice devoted to what women really think, or what they secretly want. Even when you are in love with a woman it can be hard to understand what she really needs from you as a loving and caring partner. Although no dating advice is perfect, these 12 relationship guidelines will help you to love and respect her even when things get a little stormy.

1. Her Body, Her Choice

This goes for everything from her hairstyle to her birth control choices. Respect her right to choose

2. Always Root For Her
Being her biggest fan is the best way to show emotional support. If you love her, she should always know you are in her corner.

3. Trust And Honesty Are Crucial
If you don’t have her trust, you don’t have anything. Trust can only be built through sincere and honest communication.

4. Work To Keep Her
The journey isn’t over once you’ve won her heart. Many men tend to stop trying once the girl of their dreams is by their side. Show her daily that she was worth the effort.

5. Little Details Make A Difference

Paying attention to the details isn’t just about noticing when she gets a new haircut. Active listening during conversations will help her to feel like you notice and care about the details.

6. You Don’t Always Have To Be The Solution

Sometimes, people just need to vent. When she’s upset, she doesn’t necessarily want you to fix everything for her. Sometimes, it’s enough that you just be there to listen and hug her.

6 Common Behaviors That Can Damage Any Loving Relationship

When you first enter a new relationship everything seems blissful and beautiful. You’re ready to give all you have and do all you can for your partner, and you expect the same in return. The relationship may seem unbreakable, but unfortunately as the relationship ages your behavior changes unintentionally and you don’t feel as loved anymore. Let us tell you why; years into a relationship we naturally adopt some behaviors that can slowly spoil the relationship, and we don’t even know we do it.

Here are 6 common behaviors you should avoid to keep your relationship safe and loving:

• Disrespect 

How would you feel if suddenly the one who was once supportive and loving starts complaining and criticizing you for things you do? When you want to share something or seek advice he/she is too busy or blames you for your problems. There is no respect for you or your needs. This behavior destroys relationships.

• Same old song

Initially you talk your heart out and say everything and anything. You praise their every move and express how lovable they are. As time passes, things change, but not your words. You say the same things you said the first night just for the heck of it. The repeated words can bore your partner and they no longer sound sincere. They start to enjoy hearing new words from new voices. Don’t be predictable.

• Involving your mother (in-law)

It’s common for in-laws and parents to create problems between couples that lead to big arguments. They can become so huge that it’s hard to face each other. Try to keep your issues between you two and solve them on your own. You can plan holidays so that you rotate between his family and yours.

• Domination

Dominating behavior is harmful, from anyone. Initially you may love that confident behavior of your girl or guy, the way they tackle every problem that comes their way. You may even be proud of them. But after a month or so you realize you don’t agree with them on everything. There are things you like that they don’t, but you enjoy the restaurants and activities he chooses. They want you to stay the same adoring creature with no opinions of your own.