What Retired Husband Did

A wife insisted that her recently retired Deputy Sheriff husband accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, the wife is like most women; she loved to browse, leaving her newly retired husband, time to roam the store “unsupervised.”

She received the following letter from Target describing certain events over the past several months:

Dear Mrs. Porter,

Over the past several months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Porter are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras and eye-witnesses.

#1 June 15th:

Took 27 boxes of Rubbers and randomly put them in several elderly customer’s carts when they weren’t looking.

#2 July 2:

Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.