Psychologists Explain How to Stay Calm In An Argument

Arguments and conflicts are inevitable part of our everyday lives. No matter how hard you try to remain calm, at least once in your life you may get close to the verge of losing your temper. However, many people are unable to control themselves and their emotions during an argument, so if you are one of them you may find the following tips very helpful.

1.Take deep breaths

Taking deep breaths will help you remain calm because slow and shallow breathing are the body’s usual responses when in an argument. Deep breaths are excellent for reducing the production of adrenaline and cortisol which are stress hormones. So, try to take deep and long breaths and you will relax much faster. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.

2.Focus on your body

Being focused on what happens to your body when in an argument can be very helpful. You may notice that you are breathing shallow and you are very tensed. Once you focus on these physical sensations you will be able to relax faster. Start by relaxing your hands and shoulders and return to a more neutral state.

3.Listen actively

When people feel they are not being listened to, they often initiate arguments or some kind of conflict. Also, an argument can never be settled without active listening. So, make sure you are listening the person and make sure they are aware you are present in the moment. Don’t allow anything to distract you and in the end of the conversation make sure you have the necessary information for an intelligent response.

4.Ask open-ended questions

Asking open-ended questions is a very important part of solving a conflict. They show you have been listening actively and also that you respect the other person enough by allowing them to express their thoughts. Instead of asking “Yes” or “No” questions, try to start with “What”, “Why” and “How”. This way you show the person that you want them to answer longer rather than with just a simple yes or no.

5.Keep your voice down

Raising your voice is the easiest way to start or escalate a conflict. On the other hand, lowering it can be very helpful if you are trying to resolve the conflict. Try to calm the other person first by lowering your voice which can impart a sense of calm that can be a step forward to resolving the issue causing the conflict.

6.Agree to disagree

You can’t expect for every argument to end with results that both sides will be happy with. However, in order to avoid escalating the conflict you should try to end it before things heat up. It takes at least two people to start a conflict, and if you feel that the participant is very hostile or that the conversation is not going anywhere, you should try to separate from the argument.

We hope you will use these tips next time you have an argument and that you will be able to resolve any issues much easier without unnecessary conflicts. Being constantly stressed and angry can have serious negative effects on our health so it is always a better idea to protect yourself from the negativity. Even though you may lose your temper and act in a manner you will never be proud of, you can at least try to calm yourself down in order to avoid making mistakes you are going to regret.

4 Secrets To A Happy Marriage

Relationship experts claim that the following tips are actually the secrets to a happy marriage. Let’s take a look at them.
1.Always be kind
Sometimes we say things without thinking about the consequences. Words can never be taken back no matter how many times you apologize. Even if your partner accepts the apology it does not mean they will change the way you made them feel.
Strong words can have detrimental effects on your relationship. So, instead of saying something you are going to regret later, try to walk away until you are calm enough. Kindness is something you should practice every day. This includes giving your partner compliments or surprising them will small signs of affection.
If you partner had a long and stressful day and needs some time to relax and vent, you should be supportive and show them that you care. Even when you are discussing something you disagree about, always let your partner express their thoughts and feelings and listen closely. You must let them know that you value their opinion. As Dr. Mike McNulty, therapist explains: “Listen. Help your spouse express his or her feelings. Empathize. Show support. Don’t problem solve or fix. Most of us just want to be heard.”
3.Learn to compromise
Every relationship, especially a marriage, requires making compromises. Instead of demanding from your partner to do as you wish, or settling for something you are not comfortable with, try to find a solution you will both accept. This way your relationship will strengthen and you will show each other that you are prepared to negotiate whenever there is a problem so that you are both content at the end of the discussion.
4.Don’t forget to have fun
Marriage can become very stressful and you must always remember why you became attracted to your partner in the first place. Never stop doing the things you enjoyed together. Being married doesn’t mean you should stop dating. Try to spend as much alone time with your partner as you can in order to make your relationship stronger and happier.