Best marriage advice ever by a dad to his son. This is gold!

When I consider what type of advice is the best to give, I have to say marriage advice. Why? Because your spouse is who you spend your entire life with. They are the ones who endure every hardship, failure and struggle with you. They are by your side for success, growth and blessings. You lean on each other, rely on each other and make a life together.

A marriage is a partnership and if you nurture it, it can be the most powerful thing in your life. It can give you comfort and hope and stability when the rest of the world can not.

WORDS FROM A FATHER TO A SON ABOUT MARRIAGE.

1. My son, if you keep spending on a woman and she never asked you if you’re saving or investing, and she keeps enjoying the attention, don’t marry her.

2. My son, a woman could be a good wife to you, some could be a good mother to your children but if you’ve found a woman like a mother to you, your children and your family, please don’t let her go.

3. My son, don’t confine the position of your wife to the kitchen, where did you get that from? Even in our days, we had farm-lands where they worked every morning . . . that was our office.

4. My son, if I tell you that you’re the head of the house, don’t look at your pocket; look if you will see a smile on your wife’s face.

5. My son, if you want to have a long life, let your wife be in-charge of your salary, it will be difficult for her to spend it when she’s aware of the home needs and bills to pay but if it’s in your care, she will keep you asking even when all has been spent.

6. My son, don’t ever beat your woman, the pain in her body is nothing to be compared to the wound on her heart and that means you may be in trouble living with a wounded woman.

7. My son, now that you’re married, if you live a bachelor kind of life with your wife, you will soon be single again.

8. My son, in our days, we had many wives and many children because of our large farm-lands and many harvests, there are hardly any land for farming anymore, so embrace your woman closely.

9. My son, under the big tree that I did meet your mother could be your eateries and restaurants of nowadays, but remember, the closet thing we did there was to embrace each other.

10. My son, don’t be carried away when you start making more money, instead of spending on those tiny legs that never knew how hard you worked to get it, spend it on that woman that stood by you all along.

11. My son, when I threw little stones or whistled at the window of your mother father’s house, to call her out, it was not for sex, it was because I missed her so much.

12. My son, remember, when you say your wife has changed, there could be something you’ve stopped doing too.

13. My son, your mother, she rode the bicycle with me before I bought that tortoise car outside there, any woman that won’t endure with you in your little beginning should not enjoy your riches.

14. My son, don’t compare your wife to any woman, there are ways she’s enduring you too and has she ever compared you to any man?

15. My son, there is this thing you people call feminism, well, if a woman claim to have equal right with you in the house, divide all the bills into two equal parts, take one part and ask her to start paying the other part.

16. My son, I met your mother a virgin and I took more yams to her father, if you don’t meet your wife a virgin, don’t blame her, what I didn’t tell you is that our women had prestige.

17. My son, I didn’t send your sisters to school because I was foolish like many to think a female child won’t extend my family name, please don’t make that mistake, the kind of female achievers I see nowadays has made the male-gender an ordinary tag.

18. My son, your mother have once locked up the cloth I was wearing and almost tore it because she was angry, I did not raise my hand to beat her because of a day like this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I never for once beat your mother.

19. My son, in our days, our women had more of natural beauty, though I wouldn’t lie to you, some had minor painting of their appellation mostly on their arms, the ones you people now call tattoo, but don’t forget that they didn’t expose any part of their body like your women of nowadays.

20. My son, your mother and I are not interested in what happens in your marriage, try to handle issues without always coming to us.

21. My son, remember I bought your mother’s first sewing machine for her, help your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re pursuing yours.

22. My son, don’t stop taking care of me and your mother, it’s a secret of growing old and having children to take care of you too.

23. My son, pray with your family, there is a tomorrow you don’t know, talk to God that knows everything, everyday.

Share these words of wisdom if you agree.

Money and Looks really don't matter at all ( Beautiful Love Story)

A very poor man lived with his wife.

One day, his wife, who had very long hair asked him to buy her a comb for her hair to grow well and to be well-groomed.

The man felt very sorry and said no. He explained that he did not even have enough money to fix the strap of his watch he had just broken.

She did not insist on her request.

The man went to work and passed by a watch shop, sold his damaged watch at a low price and went to buy a comb for his wife.

He came home in the evening with the comb in his hand ready to give to his wife.

He was surprised when he saw his wife with a very short hair cut.

She had sold her hair and was holding a new watch band.

Tears flowed simultaneously from their eyes, not for the futility of their actions, but for the reciprocity of their love.

MORAL: To love is nothing, to be loved is something but to love and to be loved by the one you love,that is EVERYTHING. Never take love for granted.

Your Body is ACIDIC. Here are Very SIMPLE WAYS TO ALKALIZE YOUR BODY– AMAZING EFFECTS!

Many people who are reading this may have a high acidity level in his or her body. This is due to the typical first world diet of processed foods, refined sugars, and GMOs. However, many people do not know that an acidic body is a breeding ground for cancer, excess weight, pain and many health issues.

Fortunately, making your organism more alkaline is very simple and easy. Making alkaline environment is in fact the opposite of acidic environment.

Here are 10 simple natural ways that you can practice every day and they will alkalize your organism. At same time you will gain more everyday energy and vitality:

1. The most important thing is to start your day with smile and with a large glass of water with the juice of a freshly-squeezed lemon. Lemons actually have the opposite effect on your body even they may seem acidic. Drink first thing in the morning to flush the system.

Another option is to drink one or two glasses of organic apple cider vinegar and water daily. You should only mix one to two tablespoons of vinegar in eight ounces of water.

2. Eat large portion of green salad tossed in lemon juice and quality olive oil. Greens (vegetable or fruit) are among the best sources of alkaline minerals, like calcium. Eat alkaline foods during the day like most fruits and vegetables. They sustain the body’s pH on a daily basis and keep balance in your organism.

3. Your snack should consist on raw, unsalted almonds. Almonds are full with minerals that are natural alkaline like magnesium and calcium, which actually help to balance out acidity and in the same time to balance blood sugar.

4. Drink almond milk and make yourself nice berry smoothie with added green powder like spirulina, or other greens. If you have choice between almond milk and cow’s milk, almond milk is better option.

5. Go for a nice walk or some other exercise. It’s very important to be active. Exercise actually helps move acidic products so your body can better eliminate them.

6. Breathe deeply. Ideally, choose a spot that has fresh, oxygen-rich air and go there whenever you can. While you are there, drink lots of water (and on daily basis as well) to flush the system of waste.

7. Do not eat meat every day. If you can skip few days without meat it will be great because eating meat every day leaves an acid residue behind. We have a lot of vegan or vegetarian recipes for you. Alkalize your body!

8. Skip dessert loaded with sugar and skip drinking soda. Sugar is one of the worst acidic foods we consume and our enemy. If you drink just ONE can of soda, you will actually need more than thirty glasses of neutral water to neutralize the acidity in your body!

9. Add more vegetables to your diet. Be careful, potatoes don’t count. However, sweet potatoes are good choice but don’t make them with butter, use olive oil and Himalayan salt for baking. Peppers, Asparagus, squash, Aubergines, and other vegetables are also great choices.

10. And last but not least: Add more sprouts to your daily diet. They are extremely alkalizing and rich in nutrients and energy-boosting enzymes.

After 21 Years Of Marriage

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.”

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. “What’s wrong, are you well ?” she asked. She was suspicious of something. “I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,” I responded. “Just the two of us.” She thought about it for a moment, and then said, “I would like that very much.”That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up , She was waiting at the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s. “I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, “she said, as she got into the car.

We went to a restaurant that was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. “It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,” she said. “Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation – nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, “I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.” I agreed.

“How was your dinner date?” asked my wife when I got home. “Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,” I answered.

No Matter What's Happening In Your Life Right Now, You Must Read This Short Story :)

ONE DAY I DECIDED TO QUIT

I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality… I wanted to quit my life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with god

“God”, I asked,

“Can you give me one good reason not to quit?”.

His answer surprised me…

“Look around”, He said. “Do you see the fern and the bamboo ?

“Yes”, I replied.

“When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.

I gave them light.I gave them water.The fern quickly grew from the earth.

Its brilliant green covered the floor.Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.

And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.

“In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.But I would not quit.

Respect Your Parents In Their Old Age — Heart Touching Story

An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The Father asked his Son, “What is this?” The Son replied “It is a crow”. After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, “What is this?” The Son said “Father, I have just now told you “It’s a crow”. After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, What is this?” At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the Son’s tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. “It’s a crow, a crow”.A little after, the Father again asked his Son the 4th time, “What is this?”

This time the Son shouted at his Father, “Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times ‘IT IS A CROW’. Are you not able to understand this?”

A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :-

“Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child”.

While the little child asked him 23 times “What is this”, the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.

So..

If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.From today say this aloud, “I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me.

They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today”. Say a prayer to God, “I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.

Thanks for spending your time on reading this story……

Hope YOU are forwarding this to all your friends

Husband Admits To Sleeping With Wife’s SISTER. But Her Response Is The Best Thing I’ve Ever Read

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. … Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favourite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me any more; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me any more; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.

Boss called his employee's home, but the child on the phone had the most surprising thing to say

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day.

Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers,he dialed the employee’s cell phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper.

“Hello.”

“Is your daddy home?” he asked.

“Yes,” whispered the small voice.

“May I talk with him?”

The child whispered, “No.”

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?”

“Yes,” whispered the small voice.

“May I talk with her?”

Again the small voice whispered, “No.”

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, “Is anybody else there?” “Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman” 

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?”

“No, he’s busy”, whispered the child.

“Busy doing what?”

“Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman,” the whisper answered.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”

“A helicopter.” answered the whispering voice.

“What is going on there?” demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, “The search team just landed the helicopter.”

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, “What are they searching for?”

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle. “Me.”

ATTITUDE.. Its Awesome.. Must Read..

If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is equal to 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then 

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

L+O+V+E= 12+15+22+5= 54%

L+U+C+K = 12+21+3+11 =47%

None of them makes 100% Then what makes 100% ???

Is it Money? NO !!!

Leadership? NO !!!

Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change our

"ATTITUDE".

It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life 100% Successful..

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% 

True Story That Happened In Canada

TRUE STORY THAT HAPPENED IN CANADA

A baby boy David was born to a certain family.

The mum was so excited that she hardly put him down.

One day she left him sleeping and went to the garden.

When she was there, the house caught fire and  she ran back home as fast as possible to save her only son.

People tried to stop her but they didn’t succeed.

She went in and found the baby untouched.

Unfortunately her hair caught fire as she was going out and she started burning.

It was very bad for the rest of her life because she had to live with a scar.

The boy grew up and became very rich and shifted to town.

But in the real sense, he was ashamed of his mother's scars.

When people asked him, he would say, "l don’t have someone so ugly in our family as my mother".

One day his mum overheard how his son was telling people and she was very disappointed.

She decided to travel to town to explain to his only son what had happened and the reason behind her ugliness.

But unfortunately, the bus she was travelling with, got an accident and the mum died instantly.

The boy heard of the news, and felt very happy.

He then rushed to the village and found people sad.

He just passed them and went direct to her mother's room to search for important documents.

He was shocked to find her MUM's oldest DIARY BOOK written,

DATE: 5th Sept 1980.I was announced the WiNNER OF MiSS

Single Or Married You Must Immediately Read This... It Will Shock You For Sure!

No matter if you’re single or married … you have to read this: When I got home that night as my wife served me dinner, I grab her hand and said “I have something to tell you.” She sat down and ate quietly. I watched and saw the pain in her eyes. Suddenly I did not know how to open my mouth, but I had to tell her what I was thinking: “I want a divorce”. She did not seem upset by my words and asked me softly, why? You’re not a man?

That night we did not talk, and she cried. She wanted to know what was happening to me …

-It was something with our marriage, but I could not answer what exactly. It happened that she had lost my heart, and I had another woman named Joan. I no longer loved my wife, but I pitied her. With a great sense of guilt, I wrote a divorce agreement and with this agreement she got the house, the car and 30% of our business.

She looked at the agreement and threw it away. She spent 10 years of her life with me and now we were like strangers. I pitied her, for all the lost time, energy was not the same but it could not change. I loved Joan. Suddenly she started screaming. The idea of divorce was now clearer to me.

The next day I came home and I found myself writing at the table. I did not eat dinner and went to sleep, I was very tired having spent the day with Juana. When I woke up, my wife was still writing at the table. I did not mind, I turned around and continued sleeping. In the morning my wife introduced me to divorce conditions: She did not want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce.

She asked me for a month, we would have to live as if nothing happened. Her reason was simple, our son had whole month of tests and she did not want to bother him with our broken marriage. I agreed, but she had another request: to agree upon me carrying her to our room like the day we got married. I thought she was going crazy, but that this alone was accepted.

My wife and I had no physical contact since I expressed my intention to divorce, so when I took her to the front door the first day, we both feel bad. Our son walked behind with clapping and saying: Dad is carrying mom is his arms! His words gave me a lot of pain.

I walked the 10 meters with my wife in my arms. She closed her eyes and said quietly: do not tell our son about the divorce. Then I went to work. I drove alone to work. The second day, we were both more relaxed.

She leaned against my chest, I could feel the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I had not looked at it carefully. I realized she was no longer so young, had some wrinkles, some gray hairs … that was notable a damage of our marriage. For a moment I thought and I ask: what was it I did? The fourth day, I felt some affection was returning between us. This was the woman who gave me 10 years of her life. In the fifth and sixth day, it continued to. I said nothing about Joan.

Every other day it was easier to carry my wife and month was running. I thought I was getting used to her weight. One morning, she was looking for what to wear. She had tried many dresses on, but all of them were too big. It was then that I realized she was very thin, and that was the reason that I did not feel her weight load. Suddenly I realized that I had provoked much pain and bitterness.

Without realizing it, she touched my hair. Our son entered the room and said, Dad, it is time that you take Mom to the door! For my son, seeing his father day after day carry her mother to the door, that had become an essential part of his life. My wife hugged him, I covered my face. I was afraid I changed my thinking about divorce. And holding my wife in my arms to the door, it felt like the first day of our wedding.

Conversation Between a Husband (H) and a Psychologist (P)

Conversation between a Husband (H) and a Psychologist (P):

P : What do you do for a living Mr. X?

H : I work as an Accountant in a Bank.

P : Your Wife ?

H : She doesn't work. She's a Housewife only.

P : Who makes breakfast for your family in the morning?

H : My Wife, because she doesn't work.

P : At what time does your wife wake up for making breakfast?

H : She wakes up at around 5 am because she cleans the house first before making breakfast.

P : How do your kids go to school?

H : My wife takes them to school, because she doesn't work.

P : After taking your kids to school, what does she do?

H : She goes to the market, then goes back home for cooking and laundry. You know, she doesn't work.

P : In the evening, after you go back home from office, what do you do?

H : Take rest, because i'm tired due to all day works.

P : What does your wife do then?

H : She prepares meals, serving our kids, preparing meals for me and cleaning the dishes, cleaning the house then taking kids to bed.

Whom do you think works more, from the story above???

The daily routines of your wives commence from early morning to late night. That is called 'DOESN'T WORK'??!!

Yes, Being Housewives do not need Certificate of Study, even High Position, but their ROLE/PART is very important!

Appreciate your wives. Because their sacrifices are uncountable. This should be a reminder and reflection for all of us to understand and appreciate each others roles.

All about a WOMAN ....

* When she is quiet, millions of things are running in her mind.

A husband sent a text to his wife at night, he didn't get reply from wife, what he has done is ...

Husband sent a text to his wife at night,

“Hi I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty

clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I

return.”

but there is no reply…..

He sent another text,

“And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my

salary at the end of the month I’m getting you a new car”

this time, She text back, “OMG really?”

Husband replied, :

“No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message” 

Whatever Emotion You Infuse Into The World, It Will Further Spread…

A 6 yr old boy was in the market with his 4 yr old sister. Suddenly the boy found that his sister was lagging behind.

He stopped and looked back. His sister was standing in front of a toy shop and was watching something with great interest.

The boy went back to her and asked, “Do you want something?” The sister pointed at the doll. The boy held her hand and like a responsible elder brother, gave that doll to her. The sister was very very happy…

The shopkeeper was watching everything and getting amused to see the matured behaviour of the boy…

Now the boy came to the counter and asked the shopkeeper, “What is the cost of this doll, Sir? !”

The shopkeeper was a cool man and had experienced the odds of life. So he asked the boy with a lot of love & affection, “Well, What can you pay?”

The boy took out all the shells that he had collected from sea shore, from his pocket and gave them to the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper took the shells and started counting as if he were counting the currency. Then he looked at the boy. The boy asked him worriedly, “Is it less?”

The shopkeeper said, “No, No… These are more than the cost. So I will return the remaining.” Saying so, he kept only 4 shells with him and returned the remaining.

The boy, very happily kept those shells back in his pocket and went away with his sister.

A servant in that shop got very surprised watching all these. He asked his master, “Sir ! You gave away such a costly doll just for 4 shells ???”

The shopkeeper said with a smile, “Well, for us these are mere shells.

But for that boy, these shells are very precious. And at this age he does not understand what money is, but when he will grow up, he definitely will. And when he would remember that he purchased a doll with the Shells instead of Money, he will remember me and think that world is full of Good people.

It will help him develop a positive attitude and he too in turn will feel motivated to be Good.”

Mind Mantra – Whatever emotion you infuse into the world, it will further spread. If you do good, goodness will spread. If you do bad, negativity will spread.

Realize you are a very powerful source of energy.

Your good or bad will come back to you magnified. Not in the ways you want it, and probably not in the ways you can understand it. But it will come back.

Loved it….hence posted.

Keep your circle positive. Don’t forget to share this piece of goodness with your circle.

Nurse Promises Not To Laugh At This Man's Problem. She Failed. This Is Hilarious.

The Nurse asked a patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown to be checked by the doctor.

"In front of you?" He asks, shy.

The Nurse says: "Well no, but I've seen the naked human body before."

The Patient said, "Not one like mine. You'd die laughing at my naked body."

"Of course I won't laugh," said the Nurse to the patient. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," said the Patient, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing a huge male body with the smallest adult male organ the Nurse had ever seen in her life.

In length and width it was almost identical to a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the Nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out.

And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing. Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the Patient's private part, she composed herself as well as she could.

"I am so sorry," the Nurse said, "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise that it won't happen again. Now tell me, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," the Patient replied.

She ran out of the room.

Sometimes we think we know exactly what to expect. Sometimes we're very wrong.

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Husband Kicks His Ex-Wife Out of Their Million Dollar Home. Her Revenge? You'll Die Laughing!

After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary.

His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith’s multi million dollar home and since the man’s lawyers were a little better he prevailed.

He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes crates and suitcases.

On the 2nd day she had to movers come and collect her things.

On the 3rd day she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly the house began to smell. They tried everything cleaning mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even replaced the expensive wool carpeting. NOTHING WORKED.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairman refused to work in the house. The Maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move

Respect Your Parents ( A Short Story Must Read )

After his father’s death, the Son decided to leave his mother at old age home and visited her on and off.

Once he received a call from old age home….Mom very serious ….. please come to visit.

Son went and saw mom very critical, on her dying bed.

He asked: Mom what can I do for you?

Mom replied… “Please install fans in the old age home, there are none…. Also put a fridge for betterment of food because many times I slept without food”.

Son was surprised and asked: mom, while you were here you never complained, now you have few hours left and you are telling me all this, why?

Mom replied…..”it’s OK dear, I’ve managed with the heat, hunger & pain, but when your children will send you here, I am afraid you will not be able to manage!

She warned me vehemently to take care with what I left behind and said that this is why she wants to modernize the old age home because she feared that one day, perhaps, my children would abandon me there and I would experience what she did. Her final words were, “What you give is what you get.”

Cop pulls her over for speeding. But when he hears what she has to say, he calls for backup

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

A Cute Letter From A Newly Married Girl to Her Mother

Dear Mom,
Like every normal girl, I was excited about marriage right from my childhood days. I never thought beyond the time that I would spend happily with my prince charming. But today when I am married, I realize that marriage is not all roses. It’s not just about being with your beloved and having a gala time. There is so much more to it. 

It comes with its own share of responsibilities, duties, sacrifices and compromises. I can’t wake up anytime I want to. I am expected to be up and ready before everyone else in the family. I can’t laze around in my pyjamas throughout the day. I am expected to be presentable every time. I can’t just go out anytime I want to. 

I am expected to be sensitive to the needs of the family. I just can’t hit the bed anytime I want to. I am expected to be active and around the family. I can’t expect to be treated like a princess but am supposed to take care of everyone else in the family. And then I think to myself, ‘why did I get married at all?’ I was happier with you, mom. 

Sometimes I think of coming back to you and getting pampered again. I want to come home to my favourite food cooked by you every evening after a nice outing with friends. 

After 40 Years Of Marriage - Heart Touching Story

One fine day, an old couple around the age of 70 walks into a lawyer’s office. Apparently, they are there to file a divorce.

Lawyer was very puzzled, after having a chat with them, he got their story…. This couple had been quarreling throughout their 40 plus years of marriage. Nothing ever seems to go right.

They hang on because of their children, afraid that it might affect their up-bringing. Now, all their children have already grown up, have their own family, there’s nothing else the old couple have to worry about. All they wanted is to lead their own life free from all these years of unhappiness from their marriage, so both agreed on a divorce….

Lawyer was having a hard time trying to get the papers done, because he felt that after 40 years of marriage at the age of 70, he couldn’t understand why the old couple would still want a divorce..

While they were signing the papers, the wife told the husband.. ”I really love you, but i really can’t carry on anymore, I’m sorry..”  ”It’s o.k., I understand..” said the husband. Looking at this, the lawyer suggested a dinner together with just the three of them. The wife thought, “Why not? since they are still gonna be friends..”  At the dining table, there was a awkard silence. The first dish was roasted chicken. Immediately, the old man took the drumstick for the old lady.. ”Take this, it’s your favourite..”

Looking at this, the lawyer thought there might still be a chance for the relationship, but the wife was frowning when she answered.. ”This is always the problem. You always think so highly of yourself and never thought about how I feel. Don’t you know that I hate drumsticks?” Little did she know that over the years, the husband have been trying all ways to please her. Little did she know that drumsticks was the husband’s favourite. Little did he know that she never thought he understand her at all. Little did he know that she hates drumsticks even though all he wants is the best for her.

That night, both of them couldn’t sleep. Throught the night, they toss and turn repeatedly… After hours, the old man couldn’t take it anymore, he knows that he still loves her, and he can’t carry on life without her. He wants her back, he wants to tell her he is sorry. He wanted to tell her “I love you”…