6 Reasons Why Trust Is More Important Than Love

Most people believe that love can conquer all, and that the only thing you need in order to make your relationship successful is just pure and honest love. I would beg to differ! After 21 years of living and two long relationships, one thing I’m completely sure of is the fact that trust is the most essential component of a successful relationship. In its absence, you can end up feeling constantly worried and hurt.

If you don’t completely trust your partner, you end up wasting all your time worrying about where your partner is, who they’re with, and what they’re doing, and ultimately end up feeling psychotic. I’m pretty sure that’s not the kind of relationship you would ever sign up for.

Here are 6 reasons why trust is always more important than love:

1. You can only love a person truly if you trust them

Love is always built on trust and not the other way around. Being rational human beings, we tend to love the people we already trust. And if we enter a relationship without building its base around trust, it is bound to fail as soon as the hard times come.

2. Trust is used to control our emotions

We are all emotional beings. In most situations, we tend to place more emphasis on the means rather than the final end. We tend to engage in relationships that are meaningful, relationships that we can truly value.

And how do we decide in the start if a relationship will prove to be that way? We use trust! We use it to gauge the kind of relationship we have with others. And we use it to decide exactly how much of our own self we should give to others.

3. Trust is the building block of all relationships

Once we truly trust a person, once we find the comfort to open ourselves to them and to share all the deepest, darkest thoughts in our minds, that is the moment when a relationship truly becomes unbreakable.

4. Love can cloud your judgments but trust illuminates them

We always believe that love can be our one true savior in times of need. But the truth is, we’re usually too blinded by love to actually make sane judgments. We get too involved in trying to gain the acceptance, approval, and admiration of those we love. And we fail to realize the fact that love is suppressing our ability to reason.

This is where trust comes in. It helps you get back to the real reasons behind your relationship. It helps you realize whether the person standing in front of you is actually worth the effort. And it helps you distinguish between the people who you’ll have a lifelong connection with and the people who will eventually leave.

5. Trust conquers all

We’re all familiar with the phrase ‘Love conquers all’. But the truth is that trust is the one thing that can truly push us to believe that we can and we will conquer all obstacles. It holds everything together when all the things around you seem to be falling apart. It’s the glue that fills every gap and every difference you might have with your partner.

6. Trust is what makes you love again

When all is said and done, when you feel like life keeps pulling you to the ground, when you get your heart-broken a thousand times over, the only thing that can help you bring back the hope in your life is trust. It enables you to believe in something bigger and better than all the heart breaks. It helps you get yourself back on track in life. And it helps you get the motivation back to find your one true soul mate.

10 Warning Signs It’s Time to Change Your Life

There is usually some catalyst (or several of them) that leads someone to the decision that some serious change is in order. Unfortunately, it is easy to live with these signs for a long time before even noticing what they are trying say. The key to understanding what is going on in our life is recognizing how we feel. If we are feeling anxious, discontent or bitter, it could be our body’s way of telling us it’s time to try something new.


So much of our day and week is spent at work, that feeling dread when you wake up or as the weekend nears its end is a sure sign that something is not right. Take some time to figure out what it is about your day at work that you are dreading and devise a plan for changing it.

Staying focused on better times, whether it’s the past or the future, might be a sign of trying to escape the now. It is not uncommon to dream about a better life and dreaming can be good. It’s when the dreaming takes the place of doing that a problem exists.

If the same message keeps appearing from friends and acquaintances alike, it might be time to figure out what is behind it. “You need to relax” is slang for “get over it” in today’s world. So when we hear it over and over again, we are probably holding onto something we need to let go of.

Jealousy is a sign of discontent with our life and has nothing to do with the other person’s accomplishment. It is hard to be happy for other people’s successes when we are feeling stuck in our life. It is time to ask ourselves what is the jealousy telling us.

Waking up tired is a sign of discontent, not necessarily with work but with life in general. It is hard to get proper rest with worry and angst in our lives. When we live in a constant state of tiredness, it can signify struggle and strife in our life. It also indicates we are tired of fighting and are ready to admit defeat. Instead of giving up, figure out what you can do to get back on track. Life is meant to be lived happy and happy isn’t tired.

The feeling of the need to do something or go somewhere is a clear sign that creativity is being stifled, and something must change. The inability to be content and sit still can suggest there is something else you are meant to be doing. If you are antsy, it’s your job to figure out what your body is telling you.

Gossiping is a way of deflecting the work we need to do in our lives to someone else. It is avoidance at its best. When we find ourselves gossiping, it is important to ask what we are avoiding in our life and then realize that facing it is the best thing we can do.

Having a hard time living by the “don’t sweat the small stuff” motto might indicate some extra angst and negativity around. Nitpicking and always finding something wrong with what everyone is doing is a hint that there are some underlying issues. The issues can be anything but it usually indicates an unhappiness with your life somehow.

Waiting for something bad to happen will eventually lead to something bad actually happening. The other shoe doesn’t always have to drop and to know that can go a long way. Stop the worry and the predictions and start focusing on what you are doing right now.

Thinking there is something more or something bigger usually means there are new opportunities on the horizon. Be open to the things that are stirring up the passion and creativity and follow them. The destination will most likely be exactly what you need.

Deciding to make changes can be immediate but the change itself doesn’t always happen that fast. Don’t let that stop you from moving forward. Even the smallest of steps can help reduce the negative feelings and keep the motivation for change high.
The important thing is to do something right now, because your only options are to embrace change or accept things as they are.
Either way, it is important for us to pay attention to how we feel and do more of what makes us feel good.

25 Secret Signs He’s Confessing His Love For You

“Well, it seems to me that the best relationships – the ones that last – are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship…one day you look at a person and you see something more…Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is…suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.” – Gillian Anderson

1. In a social setting, the man will most often give you more attention than anyone else in the room.

2. He restrains from acting annoyed, even if something that you do is a pet peeve or “pushes his buttons.”

3. He remembers meaningful days, such as your birthday or other dates of importance.

4. He doesn’t hesitate to make you his number one priority, even if it means going out of his way.

5. He defends you in the event someone attempts to bad talk or harm you in any imaginable way.

6. He always wants to spend time with you, and he loves every single second of it. He’ll seemingly always go out of his way to do so, if necessary.

7. He is always talking and opening up to you about nearly everything in his life – from his friends to his work.

8. He can’t stay mad at you for very long. He’ll often make the effort to apologize or accept your apology.

9. He tries hard to “fit in” with your friends and family members. He cares a lot about what they have to say.

10. He’ll sacrifice his happiness, comfort, and so on, if it means that you are better off.

11. He’ll text or call you before heading to bed. Often, you’re the person he speaks with last.

12. He is always respectful regardless of the situation. He won’t doe-eye other girls in your presence, or cut you off while you’re speaking.

13. He keeps you informed about his life and what’s going on; even if it’s a small matter.

14. He won’t be afraid to swallow his pride and apologize to you in the event he does something hurtful.

15. He’ll help whenever he’s asked, from the smallest favor to something that demands his full attention and effort.

16. He eagerly wants to know about your life, from your childhood to work – and everything in between.

17. He’s protective of you in many ways. For example, does he request a call or text to know you got home safely? Does he “guide” you across the street or while walking?

18. He’ll include the word “we” instead of “Me” or “I” when discussing something that includes you. He often does this by choice, as he wants to include you in many things as possible.

19. He’ll hold you or stand close when you’re in the presence of other men. It’s his way of “claiming” you, and subtly suggesting that other men should be aware of this.

20. He cherishes your opinions, even if they may starkly differ from his own. When making choices that involve you both, he’ll want to know what you think.

21. He holds your hand or touches your back when walking around in public. This is a subtle display of his protective and reassuring nature.

22. He has big dreams and always seems to include you in them. Maybe he mentions moving in together, buying a home, or having a child.

23. He quickly accommodates your needs, from the smallest thing – like needing a few more minutes to get ready, to the bigger things – such as taking time off work to take care of you when sick.

24. He’s courteous and gentlemanly in just about everything he does with you.

25. He remembers your conversations, especially the things that you’ve said, even it took place a long time ago.

A Beautiful True Love Story

A very poor man lived with his wife.

One day, his wife, who had very long hair asked him to buy her a comb for her hair to grow well and to be well-groomed.

The man felt very sorry and said no. He explained that he did not even have enough money to fix the strap of his watch he had just broken.
She did not insist on her request.

The man went to work and passed by a watch shop, sold his damaged watch at a low price and went to buy a comb for his wife.

He came home in the evening with the comb in his hand ready to give to his wife.

He was surprised when he saw his wife with a very short hair cut.

She had sold her hair and was holding a new watch band.

Tears flowed simultaneously from their eyes, not for the futility of their actions, but for the reciprocity of their love.

MORAL: To love is nothing, to be loved is something but to love and to be loved by the one you love,that is EVERYTHING. Never take love for granted.

Do Your Heart Lines Match Up? Mine did. This is What it Means!

Palm reading is a type of ancient art that goes back hundreds of generations. It originated in India and spread throughout Asia, Europe, and North America. It was popularized in the Chinese book the I Ching and Aristotle took an active interest in it. Even Alexander the Great thought it gave him an edge in battle, and maybe it did. He did have a 15-year winning streak.
The one most noteworthy line in the palm is located right below the base of the fingers. It’s called the heart line. It’s a sharp crease that reveals a lot about your relationships and your future love life. You don’t need to pay a palm reader to read it for you though – you can learn to do it yourself.

First, place your hands side by side. Do your lines of love match? To they touch one another when your palms are perfectly aligned? Are they a little bit crooked?
If the right hand line is higher than the left line, it means you’re a good lover, wise beyond your years. You tend to be drawn toward old souls. You don’t care what society thinks and you tend to live freely.
- You do not care what society thinks and you tend to live freely.
- You will not be conservative and follow what your heart says.
- You also possess a wisdom that belies your physical age. You live life on your own terms and are not concerned with the opinions of others.
If the left line is higher than the right, it means you’re more assertive and independent, not necessarily needing love to complete yourself. You enjoy a good challenge and while you do have needs, you don’t take the search for love terribly seriously.
- You enjoy challenges and do not need a partner in order to feel that your life is complete. You are not the type to go around in search of someone to love.
- You are fearless and try exploring more unconventional ways.
- You crave for burning, passionate love. Generally, such people look attractive and can marry or have relationships with much younger partners.
If the lines are the same height, it signals a calm, nurturing personality. You don’t like changes and make a great parent.
-Change is also hated among those with equal level heart lines.
- Your family will like and accept your spouse.
- They can have an understanding spouse/partner and will adjust well with them.

Why Strong People Attract Difficult Relationships


The answer may lie in the fact that these people are completely in their comfort zones, and this changes when coexistence is in play. This makes the strong suffer with more baggage to deal with than first thought, having already exorcised their own demons by themselves. There is also the explanation of wanting to go through another process of self-discovery of learning more and growing further via another, like a repeat of the butterfly leaving its cocoon.
There are three types of relationships that strong people are attracted to: the soulmate relationship, the healing relationship, and the karmic relationship.


They attract this type so much that they have had a few of them. Working on this type requires a lot of it. It is exhausting, stressful, yet it can be rewarding. However, soul growth is the main aim here. It is in this type of relationship that the aforementioned self-discovery is attained. This is because, when in a romantic union, their flaws are apparent. As understood from earlier, soulmate relationships do not necessarily imply that it will last forever, but the effects of the relationship could.


Strong people tend to be healers also. They are the go-to person for a consoling hug, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, a proverbial sponge to soak up sadness. Therefore, they attract someone who requires this kind of strength. The benefits are never one-sided, unless the someone in the relationship is taking advantage. If that is the case, abort mission now! Also, if the strong feel emotionally “drained” from constant healing, take a step back and just enjoy being in the company of the other half. That is what life is about, after all.


Baggage from this life is tough, let alone past lives, the breaking of the shackles of things that happened long ago. It can make you feel confused and annoyed, stopping you from moving ahead. This type of relationship can be full-on, especially at the start when euphoria from something new and exciting is at its highest. There can be an intense pull or revulsion, depending on the mood of both participants of the relationship at the time. Releasing old hurts is very therapeutic and rewarding, which is why the Universe is throwing strong people from one into another, purifying and cleansing along the way.
What can strong people do? In a nutshell:
1. Let go and allow themselves to go into autopilot within the relationship. Like the cliché says: “Go with the flow.”
2. Move past obstacles hampering their reception of love. Strong people, due to their independence, do not let many in emotionally, therefore minimising the likelihood of being vulnerable.
3. Let the experiences strengthen them as people and as lovers. Let these experiences nurture them and learn from them.
4. Concentrate on the self. Loving yourself truly will help immensely towards reaching goals within the current relationship.
5. If the relationship is tough, embrace it and move forward. Sometimes the most difficult relationships are also the most helpful. Source

Eat 2 Bananas Per Day For A Month And This Is What Happens To Your Body

Bananas are perhaps one of nature’s most under-rated fruits. The yellow skinned fruits are easy to overlook, especially when it seems as if there’s always some new and exotic type of fruit that’s being touted as the next big thing. However, the fact remains that bananas are a tasty super food that can give our bodies all the good stuff it needs to thrive. They’re packed full of nutrients, vitamins, fiber, and all-natural sugars, like sucrose and fructose. That’s part of the reason why eating bananas regularly can help to keep the doctor away.

In the United States bananas are the top most consumed fruit and Americans eat more of them every year than apples and oranges combined. Many of us bring home a bunch of bananas from the store and eat them throughout the week. They start off mostly greenish-yellow and spotless, but as time goes by, the bananas continuously ripen. Eventually they begin to develop brown spots, which grow bigger and bigger until the entire banana is covered in brown. Many people are turned off by brown bananas and think it means they’re rotten so they toss them out. It makes sense, most fruits that turn brown are indeed rotten and unappetizing.
However, the more dark patches a banana appears to have, the more ripe it is, and the more TNF it contains. TNF stands for Tumor Necrosis Factor, and it’s a cancer fighting substance that helps fight against abnormal cells in our bodies. Specifically, TNF helps to assist communication between cells in our immune response system and it guides the movement of cells towards areas in our bodies which are inflamed or infected. Research has confirmed that the TNF found in ripe bananas interferes with tumor cells growth and inhibits them from spreading by causing cell death, or apoptosis.
This, in conjunction with the high levels of antioxidants which are also found in bananas, boosts our immune systems and can increase our white blood cells as well. The next time you see a banana with brown spots, don’t pass it over. Instead, eat it up and give your body a mini-health boost and some extra energy.
In addition to the brown spots and their immune system strengthening qualities, bananas have a number of other health benefits. Below are a few of the main ones that bananas can give you, and the accompanying video covers even more than just these, so check it out:
Bananas are nature’s anti-acid and can provide relief from heartburn and acid reflux. Eating just one banana can immediately bring soothing relief and lessen your heartburn symptoms.
Blood Pressure
Bananas help to lower blood pressure and protect against stroke or heart attack because they are low in sodium and high in potassium, making them a heart healthy food.
Eating a banana or two before a workout gives you enough energy to last an hour or more. The low glycemic carbohydrates, vitamins, and minerals all support your body increase endurance, while potassium helps to prevent muscle cramps.
They can help those with anemia by providing much needed dietary iron, which stimulates red blood cell and hemoglobin production and strengthens the blood supply.
When you suffer from stomach ulcers many foods are off limits, but bananas can be eaten without having to worry about whether or not they’ll cause pain. That’s because their smooth, soft, mushy texture coats the stomach lining and protects it against corrosive acids and irritation.
They can help overcome depression because they have high levels of tryptophan, which our bodies convert into serotonin. Serotonin is a brain neurotransmitter that makes people relax, feel happy, and improves mood. Thus, bananas can help people feel better and beat depression.
If you are clogged up, eat a few bananas. They have enough fiber in them to stimulate regular bowel movements and provide natural relief for constipation.
Nerves or PMS
When you’re feeling moody and stressed, eat a banana. They help to regulate blood sugar and are rich in B vitamins, which naturally calm the nervous system and make people relax, resulting in an overall improved mood.
Temperature Control
Eating a banana on a hot day can cool you off by lowering your body temperature. The same is true for it you have a fever.

This Is What Your BLOOD TYPE Says About Your Personality!

Nobody really knows if your blood type and your personality type are linked, since there has been no proven correlation, but there are cultures and societies that believe they are. This is particularly common in Japan where magazines publish blood type horoscopes and people will often be asked their blood type as part of the job interview process to see if they’ll be a good fit in the position.
Maybe blood type should be used for more than just matching organ donors. Maybe blood type could be good for matching people. Ask on your next date and then use this list to see if you’ve found your perfect type.

A TYPE (A+, A-)

One of the more populous blood types, As are reportedly cooperative and sensitive, while being smart and passionate perfectionists. They find it important to get along with others and tend to bottle up their feelings in order to do that, sometimes making them uncomfortable around people. They can be shy and withdrawn. They can be tense and impatient, but stay calm in a crisis because of their strength. A types are very responsible and crave success, but are sometimes unable to sleep well because stress affects them internally a great deal. Because of their innate sensitivity, As are thought to be very creative and the most artistic of the blood types.

B TYPE (B+, B-)

Third in line in the population count, Bs are a more balanced blood type. They are considered to be the most practical of the types. They can be thoughtful and sensitive, but also ambitious with some leadership qualities. They want to know all the details and directions of a project before they jump in. They are focused and goal oriented, even in the face of something impossible. Because they are individualists and like to follow their own rules, Bs can seem uncooperative. They can also come off as cold and serious because they focus more on their thoughts than their feelings.


While they are the least populous of all the blood types, the ABs are the most popular in a crowd. But, because they are both A and B blended, they sometimes have characteristics on both ends of the spectrum. For example, they can be both shy and outgoing. However, they are charming and don’t get put out by small matters. They are active and spiritual, and their lives tend to be full of excitement. Sometimes ABs can seem flaky, because while they are responsible and trustworthy, they don’t like having too much asked of them and only want to do favors on their own terms. They do their own thing and, like As, don’t react well to stress.

O TYPE (O+, O-)

The Os make up the highest number of the population, with more than 35 percent of all people having type O+. This is the independent type. They are known as the leaders and the loners. They are self-reliant and daring, even though they value the opinions of others. Os are also intuitive and focused, but sometimes they aren’t dependable because they give up too easily. They are known as the most flexible of the blood types. They are energetic and social, and most tend to be outgoing and like to be the center of attention, but their self-confidence and audacity can make them seem too detached. Stress is no problem for an O, but they generally feel much better if they can be regularly physically active.
And, if you need a quick reference guide so you can make a snap decision, here’s a list of compatibilities.
  • As are most compatible with As and ABs.
  • Bs are most compatible with Bs and ABs.
  • ABs are most compatible with ABs, Bs, As and Os (pretty much everyone).
  • Os are most compatible with Os and ABs.

15 Ways To Keep A Relationship Working (advice)

15 Ways To Keep A Relationship Working (advice)

1. Love each other

2. Don't lie

3. Keep communication open

4. Stay sweet

5. When you get hurt just forgive and forget

6. Never talk about break-ups

7. Never say it's okay even when it's not

8. Forget about "pride"

9. If you say sorry mean it

10. Don't compare your past with your present

11. Don't talk about your stupid ex's

12. Give and take process

13. Beware of his/her feelings

14. When you had a fight, don't let the day pass

15. Don't be the perfect one, be the right one.

11 Signs You’re With A Good Man

As men, one of our duties is to be gentlemanly to those that we encounter. There is perhaps no person that this pertains to more – and to a higher degree – than your partner. Women expect to be courted by, and potentially married to, a man of high character.
Most people would agree that good men encompass certain behavioral traits throughout the duration of a relationship.  This leads to the next question: what character traits make up a “good man”? Well, there are indeed many of them. We’ve managed to narrow the “signs” of a good man down to 11.




As his partner, a good man won’t forget about making your feel beautiful. A good man is not content with just saying the words, but is successful in manifesting feelings of beauty within your heart. This includes in the way he interacts with you physically and mentally.


A good man will always possess a strong and unshakable character. As such, by default, the man is inspirational in his words and deeds. He never ceases to evoke feelings of inspiration. A good man will inspire a woman to be the best version of herself.


A good man understands the importance of remaining supportive and accommodating to a woman’s needs. This doesn’t entail being a “Yes Man,” but being a man that can offer support and accommodation when the situation calls for such.


A good man never really gives himself too much credit. Though he may be intelligent, a good man seeks to always self-improvement; whether this is through learning something new, taking on added responsibilities, or getting into better shape, a good man prides himself on becoming better.


Feeling safety and secure is a vital component for any woman in her relationship. It is the man’s duty to ensure that such feelings are present. In the event of something unfortunate, a good man will always stand up for and defend his woman.


Holding the door open, pulling out the chair, feeding the kids, etc. are all trademark actions of a good man doing the little things. He is never too busy to stop what he’s doing and offer a small gesture of assistance.


A good man will not lie, cheat, or steal, especially to the person he loves the most in the world. A good man should not feel any hesitation in telling it like it is, whether what he has to say be good or bad.


A good man will never be physically, mentally, or emotionally abusive to his partner. Ever. Also, a good man will not instigate an abusive episode with anyone else under any circumstance. Instead, a good man will use the strength of his character and intellect to resolve conflicts.


When a good man expresses his love, this love remains through thick and thin. Under no circumstance will a good man neglect you, even in the more challenging situations. A good man will not abandon his duty to stand by you.


A good man understands that trust, like love, cannot be forced; it must be earned. After earning the woman’s sacred trust, a good man will take such a blessing for granted. Furthermore, a good man never leaves his trust in-doubt.


This doesn’t mean that he keels over and appeases to a woman’s every whim. It does mean, in most cases, that a good man will be selfless in his words and deeds. It is a man’s responsibility to put his woman first – a good mean does this much more often than not.

7 Ways to Respond to Verbally Aggressive People

Facing a verbally aggressive person can make you feel immediately defensive, which is perfectly normal, but there are 7 more healthy, harmonious and mindful ways to respond.


Like a wild, rabid animal, verbally aggressive people come toward you on the attack, often with little or no reason. Basically, these people are adult bullies and you don’t have to take that kind of behavior from anyone.
Verbal aggression often moves into physical aggression and that becomes a scary situation. Researchers studying patterns of domestic violence among married couples found that verbal aggression is more likely to be a precursor to physical violence.
If you are concerned about someone who has been verbally aggressive toward you, take action now. These situations can lead to domestic or workplace violence. Consult with human resources in the workplace, the National Domestic Violence Hotline or the police to get help in handling a potentially violent situation.


Responding to anger, which is what verbally aggressive people are expressing, with anger in your own voice is pointless. It gets you nowhere. They are already angry and now you are too.


Verbally aggressive people usually speak with hurtful words. Rather than being saddened by the painful words, realize that words cannot hurt you. You have a choice about how you respond. Taking their angry words personally only makes you feel bad and doesn’t help them feel better either.


In a study of psychiatric nurses who worked with non-physical methods to de-escalate a verbally aggressive patient, nurses who could identify an escalating situation then followed these steps to help the patients to come back to a calm state.
* Check the aggressive person’s level of aggressiveness on a scale of 1 to 10
* Attempt to understand the meaning of the aggressive behavior
* Connected with the aggressive person
* Matched a solution intervention to the person’s needs
You can use these same strategies to attempt to deescalate an aggressive situation.
* Check their level of aggressiveness. Ask yourself if based on their actions they are just a little upset or if there is potential for injuries caused to either the angry person or others.
* Don’t wait to call for help if you think someone could get hurt.
* Listen to everything the angry person is saying and rephrase it back to them to make sure you understood them correctly.
* Use language like ‘I understand why you would be upset’ or ‘I can see how that would be frustrating for you.’
* Ask the aggressive person for a suggestion to fix the problem or offer your own solution.


From our article 5 Signs Someone is Manipulating You, you may recall that manipulation is a trait of passive aggressive people. Avoid being manipulated by recognizing the aggression for what it is, anger. If you’ve done nothing wrong, don’t let the angry person force you into an apology.
What a verbally aggressive person needs is a place to vent their angry frustrations where someone will listen, empathize and try to find a win-win solution for both parties. Let the angry person know that you are willing to listen but only if they calm down so you can talk at a normal volume.


Aggressive people are usually quick to be overwhelmed and then frustrated by a lot of sensory input. Traffic and crowded places for example have lots of sights, sounds, and decisions that have to be made. Too much is going on and it becomes difficult to process making a person frustrated by sensory overload.
When the person goes beyond frustration to aggressiveness, it can become a dangerous situation for the focus of their anger. This type of aggressive pattern is a fairly common one in our lives of daily stress. Removing some of the stimuli that are making sound is one of the best ways to deescalate and aggressive person.
Allow them to have a more quiet environment for a moment so they can calm down their level of anxiety. Aggression to you may just be a panic attack for them that has put them in fight or flight mode.


No one likes to be made fun of, but if you can be quick with a sincere joke, even one at your own expense and laugh, that ability to add humor is the best way to respond to a verbally aggressive person. A comment like ‘Hey, I understand. I get a little more likely to get angry right before lunch too’ or something non-hurtful that can possibly get a smile from the other person.


Ask the verbally aggressive person how best to help them if they ever feel this angry about something again in the future. Offer whatever resources you have that may help them. Counseling resources are more widely available now than ever before.
There are counseling apps, text lines, websites, phone and video chats available now. There is no reason to live with emotional pain if therapy can help. Source

10 Things To Tell Your Partner When Your Relationship Is Difficult

Things are tough at home right now and have been for some time. Do you press the eject button or do you press on?
Before throwing your partner’s things in a bin liner and calling a divorce lawyer, let us take a trip to the beautiful islands of Hawaii. From Wooloongabba, Wyoming or Warwickshire, the warmth of the sand on Waikiki Beach between your toes with the refreshing Trade Winds gently blowing. Let your imagination comfort you for a moment and let us be one with the indigenous Hawaiian people, for part of our journey today involves teachings from Ho’oponopono. As we go through the list, the parts of Ho’oponopono will become apparent and will be explained in relation to how to remedy difficulty in relationships.



Here is the normal scenario in Wyoming, Wooloongabba or Warwickshire: There is a disagreement or argument brewing. Wife wants to fight. Husband wants to withdraw. She gives chase, hoping for a reaction and he normally tries to stay silent. Naturally, these roles can be reversed.
Asking the above question to your partner tells them subtly that you want to connect, not withdraw or avoid. This will in turn calm them down, which gives licence to civilised discussion and possible problem solving.


The response could be as simple as a “please listen to me” after a long, hard day or as intimate as giving a nice back rub. This gives your partner an opportunity to let off steam in whichever way they choose. This shows that you are as cool as a cucumber under pressure, and not going bananas like a crazed monkey!
Asking the above question to your partner tells them subtly that you care for them despite what has gone on between the pair of you. You are in a relationship and both parties have the right to benefits by being in one.

3. “I’M SORRY.”

Being specific as to why and how to improve for next time.
Grab your sun-screen and your beach towel, folks, it is time to make our first stop in Hawaii. This is Ho’oponopono Rule #1. Being sorry, or “minamina” in Hawaiian, because you know that you have done wrong and want to put right that wrong breathes life into the lungs of a relationship, much like the aforementioned Trade Winds in the Hawaiian archipelago. Being specific about why you are sorry is very important because it disarms more powerfully and talking of improving on that foible can start to melt the Ice King/Queen.
Example: “I apologise for not taking out the trash last night, babe. I understand that the kitchen stinks because of my forgetful actions and I will be more aware next time.”


Being specific as to why.
Staying in Hawai’i for this this one. This is Ho’oponopono Rule #3. Being grateful is such an appealing trait and makes you a more attractive person. It works in Wyoming, Warwickshire, Wooloongabba, or Waikiki Beach. It makes your significant other want to do more things with you and for you because you let them know that you appreciate them and especially so if you are thanking them for mundane tasks, people do not expect it for those. This following example is like having your feet caressed by the warm Pacific Ocean waters on the Hawaiian beach. Mahalo!
Example: “Thank you so much for taking out the trash last night, babe. I really appreciate it when you take the time to do it, even though you have that important meeting with Akamai this morning.”


Being specific as to why.
Knowing that you are doing well and having your good work appreciated at home is deeply rewarding. Feeling valued with your loved ones will give an ego boost guaranteed, making the smallest of us feel like the tallest. This is accentuated by big news, like a promotion or playing/coaching a grassroots sports team. Or even better when your partner was brave in the face of fear. Imagine your honey bunny saving someone’s life, the ultimate life accomplishment!
Example: “I am so proud of you for sticking up for that elderly lady. Many people would have swerved it, but not my boo. You are my hero and our kids are lucky to have a mum/dad like you.”


Being told that you are a great role model for Trixie and Trevor is the stand-out compliment one human being can give to another, knowing how hard a task being a parent is. If it comes from your other half, expect them to do somersaults in the living room, never mind having a spring in their step!
Example: See Number 5.


Being specific as to why.
The whole thing of asking for forgiveness and giving it is one of the hardest things a couple goes through between themselves. To take the edge off things, we are back in Hawai’i with Ho’oponopono Rule #2. This is the continuation of Number 3, mending the damage already done but Operation Kala is well under way. It is like climbing Diamond Head volcano on O’ahu, it is an arduous, sometimes scary journey, but the view from the top is spectacular.
Example: “Please forgive me for eyeing up that Hawaiian lady in the grass skirt in front of you. I was insensitive and made you uncomfortable.”

8. “I LOVE YOU.”

Being specific as to why.
Unfortunately, this is our last visit to the Hawaiian archipelago with Ho’oponopono Rule #4. This is the sunset on a beautiful day of learning and discovery. To say “I love you”, or in Hawaiian “Aloha no au ia ‘oe”, is something that is sacred within a family and saying it every time all adds up in the brownie points bag. Do not forget to be specific about why you love your darling.
Example: “I love you because you are such a gentleman with my sister.”
Time to board the plane in Honolulu back to reality, unless Hawai’i is your reality in which you are one lucky son/daughter of a gun!


This is important because your beau/belle deserves a partner who is always changing and growing as a person, who in turn becomes a better partner. How much of a difference would it make to your relationship if you say you will change for the better, and then back those words up with action?

Example: “I will make more of an effort with the kids’ homework. I know I should have done Trixie’s twelve times table yesterday. I will come home early today and help her with her spellings.”


What are the odds on a relationship staying alive with someone you do not respect and admire? “Without respect, there is no love,” says the old adage.Knowing that you are respected at home breeds self-esteem, which can be transmitted into other areas of your life. A respected person is a happy person, after all.