5 Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Respect You

Respect is so often thought of as the key ingredient to a great relationship, but it’s a concept that’s hard to define. When it comes to respect, most of us know when we’ve been disrespected.

What we expect when we ask others to give us respect is harder to define. Respect may mean different things for different people.

5 SIGNS YOUR PARTNER DOESN’T RESPECT YOU

Little research has been done on respect because until recently, it had not yet been defined as something that could be measured.

Researchers attempting to study respect in relationships created a definition that included the following psychological traits:

* loving

* caring

* understanding

* honesty

* loyalty

* listening openly

* not abusive or judgmental

* considerate

In another study on respect, the same researchers found that respect was so highly correlated with relationship satisfaction that it seemed to resemble the same concept for research participants who were surveyed.

1. YOUR PARTNER TELLS YOU WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

No one is perfect and you certainly don’t need your partner to keep reminding you of that. It’s hard enough for you to accept your own faults without a reminder.

If you hear this from your partner, it’s a sign that they don’t respect you. Tell them that there’s nothing wrong with you, and although you may make a mistake from time to time, you would prefer to hear about all the positive things that your partner likes about you.

2. YOUR PARTNER DOESN’T LISTEN TO YOU

Listening is a basic sign of respect and both of you should have a chance to listen and speak your minds. When one partner interrupts, talks over, or shows disdain for the other person when they are speaking, communication begins to break down.

Responding to your partner when they speak is essential to a respectful relationship. In a study of mindfulness and relationship conflict, researchers found that being fully present in the moment could help couples to feel more respect for their partner after an argument.

The mindfulness study showed that ‘mindfulness may play an influential role in romantic relationship well- being. ‘ It is possible to maintain your cool during an argument with your partner. Try some deep breathing, tighten your abdominal muscles and focus on maintaining emotional control while you work through your problem.

3. YOUR PARTNER ALWAYS GETS TO HAVE THINGS THEIR WAY

A successful partnership has to be a two-way street. One of you shouldn’t be always getting things their way. Compromise, especially on things that are not your top priorities, is key to a respectful relationship.

When your partner tries to control the relationship and insists on having things their way, it is a sign that they do not respect your needs. Try asserting yourself, especially when it is important to you. If your partner still will not allow you to have things your way, tell them that their behavior is unacceptable to you.

4. YOUR PARTNER DISRESPECTS YOUR FRIENDS OR FAMILY

Your partner doesn’t have to love your friends or family like you do, but they do need to treat them respectfully. As a couple, you will be spending time together in the future and part of your lives together will include family time.

It is important to a healthy, respectful relationship for you and your partner to have a good relationship with each other’s friends and family. Even if you are only civil to each other, respect for your loved one’s loved ones is important.

5. YOUR PARTNER IS FREQUENTLY UNKIND

Respect begins by not causing anyone harm. This includes not hurting feelings intentionally. Everyone is responsible for his or her own words and actions. Intentional name-calling, belittling, angry words, threatening language, or even a judgmental or accusing tone are all ways that your partner might show their disrespect.

10 Times You Need to Be Quiet In Life

In our personal lives, we needn’t be a politician or other prominent figure to recognize the time and place for quiet.

Here are ten times we’d do well to be quiet in life:

1. WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE THE NECESSARY FACTS

Harlan Ellison, one of history’s most prolific writers, once said “You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” You may or may not agree with Ellison’s sentiment, but speaking about a topic of which you have no facts or evidence may well be perceived as absentmindedness.

If it’s a sensitive issue, we’d do well to hold our tongue until we know all the facts.

2. WHEN YOU HAVE A FEELING THE WORDS WILL HURT

In the midst of a heated discussion, most (all?) of us have said something that unfairly hurt someone else. Being honest with ourselves, we felt the aftereffects of the words before they were said. In other words, we knew the sting that those words would produce – and said them anyway.

When tempers are high, our talk-to-quiet ratio should be low. Speaking of which…

3. WHEN YOU HAVE A SENSE YOU’LL BE ASHAMED

#2 and #3 are often inclusive. When we replace coolness and logic with hotheadedness and impulsivity, the changes of us hurting someone else and ourselves skyrockets.

Feeling ashamed of something that shouldn’t have ever been said isn’t worth it.

4. WHEN IT’S NOT OUR PLACE TO SPEAK

The truth is that focused, fully attentive listening (i.e. active listening) is rare. Too many people would rather be heard than hear – and this is something that can kick us in the rear in every part of life.

Understanding and being skilled in active listening can lead to new insights, expand knowledge, and improve our relationships.

5. WHEN WE HAVE NOTHING TO SAY

It’s ironic that “uncomfortable silence” is unbearable, but small talk is a social skill. Chatter among friends is nice, but why should we feel obliged to say something when there is nothing?

(Silence)

6. WHEN YOU’RE BEING TAUNTED

Nobody is immune to not being liked for no good reason. Nobody is immune to bullying, even as we age. There’s not one good reason to respond to anyone whose objective is to taunt you. You have the self-control to end a conversation – use it.

7. WHEN YOU’RE TRYING TO CHANGE A RELATED BEHAVIOR

Understanding and making an attempt to break a bad habit is a noble act. Changing our behavior can also be quite difficult at times. Habits often repeat themselves because we don’t actively watch and intervene.

When it comes to changing how we speak to ourselves and others, an influx of conflicting thoughts and feelings will arise. It is important to remain silent until we’re able to regain control.

8. WHEN YOUR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS ARE HIGH

Once again, there is no unwritten law that you must speak to people. There is certainly no unwritten law that says you must talk to people when in a bad state. As mentioned, negative emotions have a way of clouding our judgment – and this can lead us down a path we don’t want to go.

9. WHEN YOU COULD BE DOING SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE

Why are you chattering 100 words a second about nothing-in-particular when you could more wisely invest this time? Unsurprisingly, engaging in a random conversation is a common means of avoiding responsibilities.

What could you be doing instead that will better your life?

10. WHEN YOUR WORDS WILL POORLY REFLECT ON SOMEONE

Speaking about someone with intent to inflict harm upon their character is a foolish act. It’s a no-win situation. This is particularly the case when this “someone” is a spouse, relative, friend, or colleague.