Hilarious Dinner With Wife


A husband and wife were having dinner at a fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, and walks away.


His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that??!!"

"Oh," replies the husband, "that was my mistress."

The wife says, "That's it; I want a divorce."

"I understand," replies her husband, "but remember, if you get a divorce, there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the garage, and no more country club. But... the decision is yours."

Just then the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with a gorgeous woman on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Jim?" she asks.

"That's his mistress," replies her husband.

"Oh," says the wife, "... Ours is prettier."

It’s better to have nobody than someone


If you ever find yourself in that position, get away from them. Remove them from your life. They’re ungrateful, unrepentant, and usually narcissists, but the contribution they make to your life is showing you the shining example of who you don’t want to be. ~ Jim Ferrell 

Some people don’t know how to be alone. I rather be alone and happy than with someone and miserable.

It's better to have nobody, than to have someone who is half there, or doesn't want to be there.