1. Play a sport. It will teach you how to win honorably, lose gracefully, respect authority, work with others, manage your time and stay out of trouble. And maybe even throw or catch.
2. You will set the tone for the sexual relationship, so don’t take something away from her that you can’t give back.
3. Use careful aim when you pee. Somebody’s got to clean that up, you know.
4. Save money when you’re young because you’re going to need it someday.
5. Allow me to introduce you to the dishwasher, oven, washing machine, iron, vacuum, mop and broom. Now please go use them.