11 Signs Your Relationship Is Making You Depressed

While no one can make you depressed, the conditions and limitations that you experience in your relationship can create a negative environment that contribute to a negative mood. Knowing the signs that your relationship is on a negative downturn can help you to make a choice to make a change to a life of positivity.

11 SIGNS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS MAKING YOU DEPRESSED

1. YOU HAVE NO SAY IN WHAT HAPPENS FROM DAY TO DAY

Lacking control over what happens in your relationship every day is an indication that your partner is exerting more than their fair share of control. Each of you should have an equal say in distribution of chores, choice of activities, monetary decisions, etc.

2. YOU FEAR YOUR PARTNER’S REACTION

Anger from your partner can make you withdraw even further into isolation, which is a sign of depression. Avoiding communication with your partner will not fix the depressed feelings that you are having, but will only make them worse.

3. YOU ARE DEPENDENT ON YOUR PARTNER

Researchers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign looked at the impact that depression has on relationships. Although the researchers looked at people who had already been diagnosed with depression and were open about it with their partners, their findings revealed 8 negative factors that can be used as signs of depression.

8 negative effects of depression on a relationship:

* emotional toll

* romance and sexual intimacy problems

* communication problems

* isolation

* lack of energy/motivation

* dependence on the relationship

* lack of understanding

* uncertainty

4. YOU FEEL THE BURDEN OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Your relationship rests like a weight on your chest, making you feel immobilized and unable to leave, move, or change things for the better. It takes great inner courage and strength to recognize the relationship that is making you depressed and resolve to move on.

5. YOU’VE WITHDRAWN FROM SOCIAL ACTIVITIES

Researchers at the University of Michigan looked at risk factors for depression in romantic relationships and found that a lack of social support outside of the partnership was a major influencing factor on whether one partner experienced symptoms of depression. Lack of social support can include a lack of support from family members as well.

You may feel that your partner doesn’t want you to see your friends, but doing so is important to your mental health. Don’t allow your relationship to make you feel more depressed by avoiding the friends and family members who can help you to work through your feelings about your partner.

6. YOU HAVE A DESIRE TO FIX THINGS, BUT NO ENERGY TO DO SO

You wish for a more happy, positive relationship with your partner, but the literal energy that it takes to work on your problems is not within your reach. Depression can often lead to a lack of physical energy that feels like you are unable to act, even if it is going to make things better.

7. YOU CONTRIBUTE MORE THAN YOUR PARTNER DOES TO THE RELATIONSHIP

Perhaps you do more of the domestic work than your partner does, or you contribute more financially. There is sometimes an unequal distribution of work in a relationship, but it will only be making you feel depressed if you are resentful of the imbalance and unable to change it.

8. YOU CAN’T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME YOU AND YOUR PARTNER LAUGHED TOGETHER

If you were experiencing more joy and positive emotions in your relationship, you wouldn’t be wondering if your relationship is making you depressed. Happiness is visible in the number of smiles and the amount of laughter shared by loving partners. If you are missing this key positive emotional element, you may be feeling depressed.

9. YOU WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP

When you feel like your relationship is making you depressed, you can feel hopeless about the future. Not being able to see how your relationship leads to a happy ending can make you sick with worry, stress, and anxiety, and the hopelessness can make you also feel depressed.

10. YOUR PARTNER DOESN’T LISTEN

Communication is so important to a healthy romantic partnership. Lacking a willing ear to listen when you have a concern can feel isolating and can make you feel depressed. Your partner should be paying attention to you when you speak, but if they don’t, a lack of listening can feel like rejection from your partner, which leads to negative feelings of depression.

11. YOU ARE SEEKING SOMEONE TO TALK TO OUTSIDE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Emotional cheating is one way to look at this, but confiding in someone else about how you feel about your relationship issues is a sign that you aren’t able to communicate with your partner, and it is making you depressed.

10 Things To Tell Your Partner When Your Relationship Is Difficult

Things are tough at home right now and have been for some time. Do you press the eject button or do you press on?

Before throwing your partner’s things in a bin liner and calling a divorce lawyer, let us take a trip to the beautiful islands of Hawaii. From Wooloongabba, Wyoming or Warwickshire, the warmth of the sand on Waikiki Beach between your toes with the refreshing Trade Winds gently blowing. Let your imagination comfort you for a moment and let us be one with the indigenous Hawaiian people, for part of our journey today involves teachings from Ho’oponopono. As we go through the list, the parts of Ho’oponopono will become apparent and will be explained in relation to how to remedy difficulty in relationships.

10 THINGS TO TELL YOUR PARTNER WHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS DIFFICULT

1. “WHAT DO YOU NEED FROM ME RIGHT NOW?”

Here is the normal scenario in Wyoming, Wooloongabba or Warwickshire: There is a disagreement or argument brewing. Wife wants to fight. Husband wants to withdraw. She gives chase, hoping for a reaction and he normally tries to stay silent. Naturally, these roles can be reversed.

Asking the above question to your partner tells them subtly that you want to connect, not withdraw or avoid. This will in turn calm them down, which gives licence to civilised discussion and possible problem solving.

2. “HOW CAN I HELP TO TAKE SOME OF THE BURDEN OFF TODAY?”

The response could be as simple as a “please listen to me” after a long, hard day or as intimate as giving a nice back rub. This gives your partner an opportunity to let off steam in whichever way they choose. This shows that you are as cool as a cucumber under pressure, and not going bananas like a crazed monkey!

Asking the above question to your partner tells them subtly that you care for them despite what has gone on between the pair of you. You are in a relationship and both parties have the right to benefits by being in one.

3. “I’M SORRY.”

Being specific as to why and how to improve for next time.

Grab your sun-screen and your beach towel, folks, it is time to make our first stop in Hawaii. This is Ho’oponopono Rule #1. Being sorry, or “minamina” in Hawaiian, because you know that you have done wrong and want to put right that wrong breathes life into the lungs of a relationship, much like the aforementioned Trade Winds in the Hawaiian archipelago. Being specific about why you are sorry is very important because it disarms more powerfully and talking of improving on that foible can start to melt the Ice King/Queen.

Example: “I apologise for not taking out the trash last night, babe. I understand that the kitchen stinks because of my forgetful actions and I will be more aware next time.”

4. “THANK YOU.”

Being specific as to why.

Staying in Hawai’i for this this one. This is Ho’oponopono Rule #3. Being grateful is such an appealing trait and makes you a more attractive person. It works in Wyoming, Warwickshire, Wooloongabba, or Waikiki Beach. It makes your significant other want to do more things with you and for you because you let them know that you appreciate them and especially so if you are thanking them for mundane tasks, people do not expect it for those. This following example is like having your feet caressed by the warm Pacific Ocean waters on the Hawaiian beach. Mahalo!

Example: “Thank you so much for taking out the trash last night, babe. I really appreciate it when you take the time to do it, even though you have that important meeting with Akamai this morning.”

5. “I’M PROUD OF YOU.”

Being specific as to why.

Knowing that you are doing well and having your good work appreciated at home is deeply rewarding. Feeling valued with your loved ones will give an ego boost guaranteed, making the smallest of us feel like the tallest. This is accentuated by big news, like a promotion or playing/coaching a grassroots sports team. Or even better when your partner was brave in the face of fear. Imagine your honey bunny saving someone’s life, the ultimate life accomplishment!

Example: “I am so proud of you for sticking up for that elderly lady. Many people would have swerved it, but not my boo. You are my hero and our kids are lucky to have a mum/dad like you.”

6. “OUR KIDS ARE LUCKY TO HAVE A MUM/DAD LIKE YOU.”

Being told that you are a great role model for Trixie and Trevor is the stand-out compliment one human being can give to another, knowing how hard a task being a parent is. If it comes from your other half, expect them to do somersaults in the living room, never mind having a spring in their step!

Example: See Number 5.

7. “PLEASE FORGIVE ME.”

Being specific as to why.

The whole thing of asking for forgiveness and giving it is one of the hardest things a couple goes through between themselves. To take the edge off things, we are back in Hawai’i with Ho’oponopono Rule #2. This is the continuation of Number 3, mending the damage already done but Operation Kala is well under way. It is like climbing Diamond Head volcano on O’ahu, it is an arduous, sometimes scary journey, but the view from the top is spectacular.

Example: “Please forgive me for eyeing up that Hawaiian lady in the grass skirt in front of you. I was insensitive and made you uncomfortable.”

8. “I LOVE YOU.”

Being specific as to why.

Unfortunately, this is our last visit to the Hawaiian archipelago with Ho’oponopono Rule #4. This is the sunset on a beautiful day of learning and discovery. To say “I love you”, or in Hawaiian “Aloha no au ia ‘oe”, is something that is sacred within a family and saying it every time all adds up in the brownie points bag. Do not forget to be specific about why you love your darling.

Example: “I love you because you are such a gentleman with my sister.”

Time to board the plane in Honolulu back to reality, unless Hawai’i is your reality in which you are one lucky son/daughter of a gun!

9. “I’M GOING TO MAKE MORE OF AN EFFORT TO…”

This is important because your beau/belle deserves a partner who is always changing and growing as a person, who in turn becomes a better partner. How much of a difference would it make to your relationship if you say you will change for the better, and then back those words up with action?

Example: “I will make more of an effort with the kids’ homework. I know I should have done Trixie’s twelve times table yesterday. I will come home early today and help her with her spellings.”

10. “THANK YOU FOR BEING SOMEONE I CAN RESPECT.”

What are the odds on a relationship staying alive with someone you do not respect and admire? “Without respect, there is no love,” says the old adage.Knowing that you are respected at home breeds self-esteem, which can be transmitted into other areas of your life. A respected person is a happy person, after all.Aloha! Source