Teenager Thought He Was Only Helping A Man In Need. But Is Shocked When He Handed Him This.

"Today I went to Dunkin' Donuts and saw a clearly homeless guy sitting on the side of the road and picking up change. 

Eventually I saw him stroll into Dunkin, as he was counting his change to buy something I began to get super annoying and talked to him over and over again even when he didn't really want to talk. 

Since he had maybe $1 in change I bought him a coffee and bagel and asked him to sit down with me. He told me a lot about how people are usually very mean to him because he's homeless, how drugs turned him into the person he hated, he lost his mom to cancer, he never knew his dad and he just wants to be someone his mom would be proud of (along with another hours worth of conversation.)

This lovely mans name was Chris and Chris was one of the most honest & sincere people I've ever met. After realizing I really need to get back to class Chris asked me to wait so he can write something down for me. Handing me a crumpled up receipt he apologized for having shaky hand writing, smiled, and left. 

I opened his note and this was it. 'I wanted to kill myself today, because of u I now do not. Thank u, beautiful person.' 

Woman Accidentally Farts In A Lexus Showroom. But Gets The Shock Of Her Life When She Turns Around.

A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns back, there standing next to her, is a salesman. "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

He answers, "Madame, if you farted just touching it, you are going to sh*t when you hear the price."