Having arguments with your partner is not the best thing in the world. I'm pretty sure that we would all love an easier way we can approach them, come to a resolution, and go back to loving each other again without feeling like we just got done kicking and screaming.
Essentially, it all boils down to taking a deep breath, carefully thinking about what you want to say, and then confronting your partner with the hope that you'll both come to an understanding with one another. Love is a complex emotion, so it's okay that you two have fights. However, it's important that you both create a solution together.
Come to Terms with These Aspects of Conflict:
For you two to truly understand each other, you are both going to need to follow these tips for for conflict resolution. It's hard, in a heated fight, to avoid the urge to act in negative ways. Try to:
- Listen to each other
- Give each other turns to speak their mind
- Focus on today instead of the past
- Think of your partner's needs over your own needs
- Never threaten with a divorce
- Never act with violence or threatening them with violence
- Control the volume of your voices, no yelling
- Never blame each other
- Never call each other names, belittle, or degrade
Before you begin any kind of confrontation, it's important you stay relaxed and really focused on the key issues that you would like to address. Stay as civil as you possibly can be.
Understand Your Emotions and Why You Feel This Way
If you feel as though you are sad, depressed in anyway, you need to explore these feelings and why you are feeling them. If you can truly realize what the problem is with your relationship that is making you so miserable, then tell them. Tell them everything about how you feel, how you feel about them, what is making you so sad, and let them know that you want to fix it.
If you are confronting them out of fear, or are anxious about them no longer wanting to be with you, then you must come to an understanding within yourself. Love does exactly what it wants to do. If it means taking a different path than your own, then you will have to focus on what is happening today rather than what might happen in the future. You cannot control everything that happens in a relationship. Sometimes, it's better that you no longer be together in the long run. Do not despair.
If the reason you are confronting them is out of anger or frustration (being the most common of emotions), then you first must learn to calm yourself down. Keep yourself steady and stable as you confront them about your concerns, wants, and needs. Nothing can be solved with violence; use logic and reason.
It's All About Perspective
There is always more than one point of view. Your point of view may not always be the right one. It is wise to consider everything that your partner has told you, that you truly listen to their words so you know what they expect. Give them space to consider the same. If they care, they will think about the words you have given them.
Take your time to work these things out. Chances are, you both are just having one really big misunderstanding that's easily fixable with just a little bit of communication.
