7 Things You Deserve In A Relationship

Throughout our lives we settle for many things. You shouldn’t have to settle for the love you are entitled to have. How do you view your love life? Whatever you put out into the universe, it will mirror back with loving reflections. Love is an act of spiritual, emotional and physical will.

HERE ARE 7 THINGS THAT YOU DESERVE IN A RELATIONSHIP:

1. MUTUAL TRUST AND RESPECT.

These are two things that cannot be bought or acquired. They grow with authenticity in a relationship. Trust is needed in order to feel at ease. Respect is earned through trust. In order to have trust and respect, you must also be trustworthy and respectful. It goes without saying, you cannot receive what you don’t have in yourself. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Trust in yourself and the rest will follow.

“The truest form of love is how you behave toward someone, not how you feel about them.” ~ Steve Hall

2. HAPPINESS.

When you are connected with your own joy, the right person falls in alignment with you. Happiness arrives through the simplest forms in relationships. The grace of joy is a state of mind and when you walk along with a partner who lifts you, the world is just sweeter. You can overcome anything. Happiness is masterful in love. True loving relationships have no winners or losers. They have happy couples that bring out the best in each other.

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”~ Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

3. HUMOR AND INSIDE JOKES.

Laughter is the best medicine. In a loving relationship, you should have an abundance of it. Couples who laugh together, stay together. There is enough anger and stress out in the world. When you are with someone who can make you laugh at yourself, you are in the company of freedom. You deserve to be open and joyous. Inside jokes, dirty stories, sarcasm and play are needed to travel in the direction of true love.

“He was uncomplicated and upbeat and easy. At one point, I might have thought these traits made him a simpleton, but now I think they just translate to happiness.” ~ Emily Griffin, Baby Proof

4. SAFETY AND SECURITY.

There is nothing more beautiful than to sit with your partner in silence and feel their presence holding you. You can be vulnerable. You can be you. Safety and security are required in a lasting relationship. When your loved one has your back, there is nothing that you cannot accomplish. These connections are made with the heart. There is a difference between a person trying to fix you and one who is accepting you for all that you are. You deserve to be held in the worst of times, and feel no judgment.

“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow – this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

5. ADVENTURES AND SERENDIPITOUS MOMENTS.

You deserve a relationship that creates beautiful and magical moments. Romance is never ending and you shouldn’t settle for mediocracy. Adventure comes in the ability to let go of rigidity and routine. You and your partner should be able to create and recreate anything. Last minute hikes, star gazing, or just a run to the coffee shop when you least expect it. Each moment that you leave normalcy is an ability to create simple memories full of love and appreciation.

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

6. PASSION AND INTENSE INTIMACY.

Studies show that sexual desire is more than an emotion that we crave. Arousal involves a motivation and thought processing. It’s not just a feel-good desire. Relationships that have passion and intense intimacy are healthy ones. The brain has shown that love is built on top of circuits that balance out the rest of our emotions. You deserve a partner that brings about the joy of acceptance and freedom of sexual expression. Making love is the ultimate exchange of soul connection.

“As if you were on fire from within. The moon lives in the lining of your skin.” ~ Pablo Neruda

7. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

You cannot get what you don’t have in yourself. When you love yourself with appreciation, understanding and complete acceptance, another person can continue to create that space of unconditional love. You deserve a love that sees the best in you, loves your quirks and imperfections, and can enhance your belief in yourself. Love has no limitations. It is the highest form of true altruism. In the presence of this kind of love, the world has no boundaries. That’s what you deserve!

“The only way love can last a lifetime is if it’s unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.” ~Stephen Kendrick, The Love Dare : Source

Researchers Reveal 10 Things That Make Kids Happier

HERE ARE 10 (SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN!) TIPS TO MAKE THE LITTLE ONE HAPPIER:

1. GIVE THEM PLENTY OF PLAY TIME

The primary responsibility of a kid is – or at least, should be – to play.  Yes, the kid will eventually have homework, extracurricular stuff, and so on; but from toddler to adolescence, they should be given the freedom just to have fun.

Peter Gray, a child psychologist and professor at Boston College, states “Children learn the most important lessons in life from other children, not from adults…they cannot learn, or are much are much less likely to learn, in interactions with adults.”

So, tell them to “go outside and play!”

2. TAKE ARGUMENT AND HEAVY DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE

Kid’s brains develop at an extraordinary rate during early childhood. When they see and hear about adult-like problems, and uncertainties, the child’s delicate psychological state can be negatively affected; potentially making them worried and insecure.

Children should not hear stressful conversations from adults – it is most definitely not the time.

3. DON’T COMPARE THEM TO OTHERS

The pressure to succeed in today’s society can make it enticing to instill an early sense of competitiveness – and some adults do so by comparing them to someone else. Sometimes, adults will also point out desirable personality traits in another child, hoping to duplicate them in the other.

Researchers say that such comparative tendencies can adversely affect a child’s confidence and sense of self.

4. TEACH THE BENEFITS OF NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

Pointing out the obvious – a child is not very mature. Almost every kid will have spontaneous outbursts of anger, envy, sadness, etc. This behavior presents a good learning opportunity for the adult.

Dr. John Gottman at the University of Washington cites the popular tendency of adults to address a child’s perceived “misbehavior” – their negative emotions – by doling out some punishment. A better way is to acknowledge the behavior by teaching the child that everyone experiences negative emotions, and finding ways to teaching the child how to deal with their emotions constructively. 

5. ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR EFFORTS

The child is going to reach the age when he or she knows that hard work is needed to get ahead. It is important, then, to recognize when the child pushes themselves to accomplish something.

Talking about cognitive tasks during childhood, Dr. Carol S. Dweck at Stanford says: “Our message to parents is to focus on the process the child engages in, such as trying hard or focusing on the task – what specific things they’re doing rather than ‘you’re so smart, you’re so good at this…what (the adult) does early matters.”

6. VALUE FAMILY TRADITIONS

Having a variety of things that a family does together is a good sign of a stable household; with stability being an important aspect of childhood development.

According to the Child Development Institute, having regular family time induces five main benefits: the child feels important and loved; the child observes positive adult traits; adults can observe and learn more about their child’s weaknesses to guide them better; the child can verbalize their thoughts and feelings, and the parent and child develop a stronger bond.

7. LET THEM TAKE CHANCES

Children require a certain amount of supervision; yet, adults can overdo it by monitoring their every move. This “overparenting,” however, is counterproductive to development.

Researchers, in an article published in the Journal of Psychologists and Counsellors in Schools, write: “Does an extreme attentiveness to a child and their imagined needs and issues, encourage parents to reduce their demands on their child, resulting in the child rarely facing adverse situations, learning to cope, and acquiring resilience, maturity , and other essential life skills? The current study raises the disturbing possibility that the answer is yes.”

8. GIVE THEM A SENSE OF (INDIVIDUAL) RESPONSIBILITY

Expanding on the last point, it is important to allow children to complete responsibilities (e.g. chores, homework) without micromanaging them.

Why? According to child psychologists, an excessive amount of oversight can manifest into the child developing an “I can’t do this alone” attitude. While some attention – and even, discipline – is necessary for a child to recognize the consequences of abdicating responsibility, inordinate supervision is ineffectual.

9. CREATE HAPPY MEMORIES

In a multi-experiment study undertaken by two Harvard professors, adults who recalled good childhood memories “(seemed) to summon a heightened sense of moral purity.”

Related article: Stanford Dean Reveals The Single Parenting Trait That Ruins Child Development

Researchers note the participants “were more likely to help the experimenters with an extra task, judge unethical behavior harshly and donate money to charity when they had actively remembered their childhood.”

So, in creating happy memories for the child, you may be preparing them to be happy and benevolent adults.

10. BE HAPPY YOURSELF!

Children learn by what they see and hear, for better or worse. If an adult exhibits positive behavior, the child is more likely to reciprocate. According to Carolyn Cowan, a psychologist at the University of California: “children do not fare well if the adults aren’t taking care of themselves and their relationships.” Source