9 COMEBACKS FOR DEALING WITH RUDE PEOPLE

1. THANK YOU.

A simple “thank you” speaks volumes when you encounter rudeness. Not only does it show the other person that you didn’t let their words affect you, it reflects maturity on your part. You chose not to ignore the person or get angry, but met both of those tactics somewhere in the middle. A “thank you” usually implies that you acknowledge someone’s thoughtfulness and are responding to that. However, in this case, your “thank you” will mean that you acknowledge the person’s rudeness and you choose not to let it affect you. That will shut the other person down quickly when he or she realizes that the comments didn’t phase you.

You choose how to react in any given situation, so choose happiness. It will keep your thoughts and actions positive, and show others that their rude words simply cannot take your power from you.

2. I APPRECIATE YOUR PERSPECTIVE.

Not only does is this an intelligent approach, it will show the person that you only wish to communicate in an adult manner, and not stoop to their level. Any rude comments reflect the other person’s shaky perception of themselves, so remember that when someone blurts out something tactless. They may want to bring you down, but you don’t have to let them. Show them that you will only continue the conversation with dignity and respect. They may actually respect you more by reacting in such a considerate way. If this doesn’t happen, shift your focus with this next tip.

3. THIS CONVERSATION IS NOW OVER.

If you find yourself too angry to respond to someone in a civil way, simply end the conversation. You don’t want to cause permanent damage to a relationship by losing your cool, but you also don’t want to disrespect yourself by pretending like the person’s comments or questions are acceptable.

Choose to take the high road and not allow the conversation to carry on, and you will be able to keep your dignity while skipping a potential all-out brawl or heated argument.

4. WHY DO YOU FEEL THAT WAS NECESSARY, AND DO YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO ANSWER?

Especially in group settings, this will likely put the other person in check very quickly. Instead of getting the expected irate response out of you, they will meet a calm, cool and collected you, ready to talk things over sensibly and decently. Also, it will give them a chance to redeem themselves, and apologize to you in front of your friends, family or co-workers.

Other people do need to know that you do not tolerate rude or uncalled for questions and comments, and that you will call attention to their uncouth behavior. If they say “yes” to the second part of your question, you can simply reply with “Well, it looks like this isn’t your lucky day,” and be done with the conversation.

5. THAT ALMOST HURT MY FEELINGS.

While a little on the sarcastic side, it tells the other person that you choose not to absorb their negativity. It also deals with rude people in a mature way, and will probably discourage the other person from making any other remarks once they realize you aren’t affected by them.

6. YOU’RE RIGHT.

While most people have a hard time saying these two words, it will benefit you to make the other person believe they were in the right in what they said, and will likely cause the conversation to be cut short. What more can they say after this comeback? You admit their rightness, and then disengage from the conversation. While you might not get as much satisfaction by using this tactic, it will put a damper on the other person’s enjoyment since they won’t get a rise out of you, which is what they were after in the first place.

 7. YOU ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING NEGATIVE TO SAY, DON’T YOU?

This takes the attention off of you and back onto them, making them think twice about their choice of conversation topics. Not only will you, rightfully so, draw their focus onto their own words, but also force them to reconsider what they say in the future.

Speaking your mind when a person repeats behavior that offends you is never wrong or uncalled for; if you feel you need to draw attention to someone’s behavior, then listen to your gut. The person’s negativity likely affects other people besides you, so making them aware of their own toxic behavior will actually benefit you and others in future situations with this person.

8. I LOVE MYSELF, AND I LOVE YOU, TOO.

This may only apply in certain situations with friends, family, and your spouse. If you say it to your boss, you might either get a strange look or get your named removed from the payroll, so use it at your discretion. However, this comeback had to make an appearance on the list because of its effectiveness at shutting down rude people. Kindness always prevails over negativity; darkness cannot thrive where light is present. When you express to the other person just how much you love life and others, their comments become irrelevant and lose power quickly. Their sour mood and bleak outlook on themselves, you, and life will not be a match for your extreme happiness and zest for life. People also aren’t used to such raw emotion from others, and will probably be too surprised to formulate a proper response.

Your words have the ability to boost the entire energy of a room and promote more positive conversation. You can’t go wrong with that!

9. LAUGH

This reaction will definitely catch the offender off-guard and make a rude person feel embarrassed for even making the comment in the first place. For instance, if your aunt brings up your recent job loss at dinner again, just laugh. It will make the present moment seem a little less serious, and will send a message that you don’t let other people’s rude comments affect your mood or outlook on life.

Bottom line: You choose how to react in any given situation, so choose happiness! Source

9 Signs it’s Time to Let Go of a Relationship

Here are 9 signs it’s time to let go and move on.

1. THE PERSON UNREMITTINGLY BREAKS YOUR TRUST.

There is a reason that trust is number one – because trust is the most important in each and every kind of relationship. Trust is the foundation upon which a relationship is built, and it is mistrust which often destroys it. Nothing weakens a relationship more than being deceitful.

Something to understand – when you trust someone and they continuously break your trust, it’s not your fault it’s theirs. It’s very natural to immediately blame yourself for having trusted someone only to have them break that trust, but don’t.

It’s only through experience where we determine whether or not someone is trustworthy; either way, you’ll learn a valuable lesson or add a great relationship.

2. THE PERSON IS INCESSANTLY NEEDY.

A good relationship is one in which you can depend on someone or vice-versa. However, too much dependence is a sign of neediness. This is a problem because neediness drains you of your time and energy, including the time and energy necessary to maintain other relationships and take care of yourself.

People that are incessantly needy always seem to be coming to you – for pampering, favors, money, praise, or something else. You may begin to feel that the person is an emotional ball and chain. If a relationship begins to feel this way, it may be time to reconsider why you have a relationship like this in the first place.

3. YOU CHANGE WHO YOU ARE AROUND THAT PERSON.

You should never feel the need to be another person just to accommodate someone. It’s exhausting first of all, and it is a telltale sign that the relationship is not consensual. There is some element of that individual that does not jive with the person you are.

Whether or not the person verbalizes their dissatisfaction with you or you innately know that you must change in order for them to accept you doesn’t matter. What matters is that you do not feel comfortable being yourself, which shouldn’t be acceptable to you under any circumstance.

4. YOU DON’T FEEL POSITIVE AFTER TALKING TO OR SEEING THEM.

A positive relationship should mostly be uplifting. Sure, there are going to be some rough patches along the way, but it’s mostly a constructive experience. You should be accepting of each other, supportive and responsive.

If you hit a point where the positive aspects of the relationship are sporadic, it may be time to move on. You may actually come to a point where you actually attempt to avoid the person, while hoping to maintain the relationship. This may sound crazy, but people do it all the time. “Maybe it’ll get better” they think to themselves. Perhaps, but then it’s not a normal, functioning, or healthy relationship.

5. THEY DON’T ACTIVELY LISTEN TO YOU.

Attentiveness and awareness when you are speaking is the sign of a good relationship. A person that values your relationship will make your presence a priority, including when you’re trying to have a conversation.

Sure, some people don’t have the best attention spans; but that’s no excuse for constantly checking their phone, looking away, talking to other people, and generally displaying apathy when you speak. It’s certainly not acceptable for them to constantly redirect the conversation back onto themselves, completely disregarding your thoughts and feelings.

6. THEY DON’T MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP A PRIORITY.

Busyness is a part of life – work, kids, marriage, finances, etc.…the majority of our time is meticulously accounted for. However, people that value their relationships will not allow the fact that they are busy to undermine your relationship.

Understandably, the get-togethers and all-nighters are drastically limited. However, with the advent of technology comes the ability to stay connected to each other, even if you cannot hang out at a bar until 2 a.m. anymore.

If someone is not willing to make some time for you, be it a quick phone call or text, then they are effectively showing indifference – not a good trait to have in a positive relationship.

7. YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO DEPEND ON THEM.

Have you ever been there when a friend needed it most, only to have them disappear when you asked them to reciprocate? If you have, it’s not a pleasant feeling…in fact it’s downright disheartening.

People that are undependable often find an assortment of excuses – a missed call or text, that they’re “too busy”, or something else. However, consistent behavior of this kind usually means one thing: they are not dependable. Someone that is not dependable is generally not a person worthy of your presence.

 8. YOU FIND YOURSELF FORCING SOMEONE TO CARE.

Another fact about relationships: it’s based on freedom; the freedom to love and care for someone…or not. Not everyone whom you hold these feeling for will offer them in return.

Genuine relationships are made up of two individuals that have chosen to love and care for each other. It’s easy for someone to show up in your life and tell you that they love you; it’s much more difficult for them to demonstrate that love consistently.

Those that choose to remain in your life and steadily demonstrate their love and care with wholehearted acceptance are the type individuals that you want for your relationships.

9. THE PERSON IS NOT CONSISTENT IN THEIR BEHAVIOR.

We are not talking about dependability here. We’re talking about wish-washy, flaky, and general inconsistency in applying the principles that make up a good relationship: trust, dependability, acceptance, positivity, attentiveness and prioritization.

Inconsistent behavior in any of these areas is a potential sign of a negative relationship. As mentioned, only you can decide if the behavior merits a termination of the relationship. People are flawed. Flaws are natural; flaws are part of acceptance, in fact. However, it’s the degree to which a person acceptsthese flaws and continues to allow them to influence your relationship that truly matters.

We encourage you to evaluate the overall health of the relationships that you hold and make the best decision for you. We wish you many healthy, wonderful relationships in the future.