11 Signs There’s A Toxic Person In Your Life

WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF A TOXIC PERSON? WE’VE COME UP WITH 11…

SIGN 1: THEY’RE BAD LISTENERS

Something to address, quickly: it’s normal to want to think of something to say while someone else is talking. After all, nobody likes sounding “unsure” or “dumb”.

Two things: (1) trying to think of something to say when another person is speaking is not effective (2) this is not what makes somebody a bad listener.

A lack of acknowledgement, lack of response and just plain disinterest is what makes someone a bad listener. Many times, they’ll just continue talking about themselves anyways.

SIGN 2: THEY’RE ALWAYS THE VICTIM

To them, any adverse situation is the result of someone else’s actions. Have a break up? It’s always their evil partner. Came in late to work? Well, it’s the traffic (always (despite nobody else seeing it). Flop on the exam? Well, the questions didn’t match the study guide!

It doesn’t matter if they are at fault – they’ll never admit it. These people have usually gotten so good at making up excuses that they’re uttered semiconsciously.

SIGN 3: THEY’RE ALWAYS JUDGING PEOPLE

Ever been somewhere and heard a toxic person make a rude comment about someone in the room that they’ve never even met? It’s weird and shocking at the same time – weird because it’s so out of nowhere and shocking because 99% of people don’t do that.

But some toxic people will say they have the magical ability to innately “feel” when something is wrong with someone else. Worse yet is when they make a crack on someone else’s physical appearance.

SIGN 4: THEY’RE ATTENTION SEEKERS

Then we have this group – the ones always needing attention. The easiest way to detect this is in a conversation: they’re always interrupting, dominating, and controlling.

They only time they’re happy in a conversation is when they are turning it back onto themselves. They’re also the ones who always seem to always find themselves in the middle the group picture while simultaneously being the loudest one anywhere.

SIGN 5: THEY’RE DISRESPECTFUL OF EVERYONE

It’s still shocking to people watch and witness how some folks act. People still litter, graffiti property, cut people off in traffic, don’t say “thank you” (always, always been a major pet peeve of this writer), etc. These misguided, socially wretched behaviors are very disturbing.

(Anybody else ever wonder who raised these people?)

SIGN 6: THEY’RE CONSTANTLY INTERRUPTING

Interrupting conversations, interrupting traffic, interrupting with their phone; these folks are constantly in “me mode” and to heck with anyone else that tries to get in their way. They’ve got better things to do than display some empathy or patience.

In seriousness, this is really annoying. It’s human nature to interject someone and apologize. It’s downright rude to be so self-centered and clueless.

SIGN 7: THEY INFLATE THEIR OWN EGO

Quick question: how do most people come to the conclusion that someone is exceptional (as a person or at something)? Well, we simply observe and come to the conclusion.

Michael Jordan never had to tell us he was a great basketball player. Mother Theresa never had to tell us she was a loving, kind person.

So, when we hear someone talk about how they’re great without being asked and without merit, it’s (again) weird and shocking. Most people are modest about their qualities, but toxic people are not “most people.”

SIGN 8: THEY’RE PHYSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE

This goes without saying, but physically and/or emotionally abusing another person or animal is an unconscionable and toxic act. Nothing else really needs to be said on the subject, except that if we’re being abused or know of another person or animal being abused that it should be reported to authorities immediately.

SIGN 9: THEY CAN’T ADMIT THAT THEY’RE WRONG

In other words, they always have to be right. No amount of evidence to the contrary can sway a toxic person’s illogical conclusion that they are right.

Some people will go to the extreme of a loud, vocal argument to “prove” they’re right. Mind you, there is nothing of substance that is being said – they’re trying to “win” the debate on noise level alone.

Bottom line: not being able to admit that they’re wrong and not being able to admit when someone is right are undesirable characteristics in a person.

SIGN 10: THEY DON’T TAKE ANY RESPONSIBILITY

A close cousin of #2 and #10, some people don’t take responsibility for anything. Unfortunately, these people can’t see that their own actions yielded an undesirable result.

As for examples, we see this when someone is arguing with an authority figure – a cop, teacher, judge, etc. – and illogically pleading a case without actually having a case. For rational folks, we simply see this as a childish attempt to deflect responsibility from where it belongs.

SIGN 11: THEY’RE STILL “CLIQUISH”

Ever seen the movie Clueless with Alicia Silverstone? If so, it’s quickly apparent that Cher (Silverstone’s character) and their group look down on pretty much everyone. Everyone else is dirty, badly dressed or otherwise unworthy of their recognition.

There are still people who act “as if” (get it?) it’s still high school. If someone else isn’t driving the newest car, flashing the latest threads or populating the same neighborhood, they’re simply not worth the time. Toxic people consider themselves in another class that only a few, if anyone at all, deserve admittance

5 Anger Management Tricks That Make You Peaceful Again

Here are 5 anger management techniques that’ll help keep you at peace:

1. IDENTIFY A POSSIBLE OUTLET

Rather than focusing on the thing that made you angry, make a conscious effort to resolve the issue. Is your child’s erratic behavior making you upset? Find something that will keep them occupied. Is your friend or family member doing something that pushes your buttons? Calm down and have a constructive dialogue or set some definite boundaries.

Remain consciously aware of the fact that unchecked anger resolves nothing. In fact, the result is often much worse. Breathe deeply, maintain some self-discipline, and think of a rational solution.

2. FORGIVE AND (MAYBE) FORGET

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful antidotes to resentment. Allowing anger and other negative thoughts and feelings to distort and disrupt daily life ultimately leads to nothing more than bitterness, anger, and pessimism.

If you can forgive someone who brought about feelings of anger, you’ll both learn a valuable lesson. For you, the ability to forgive will reemphasize the truth that nobody can determine your state of mind. For the offender, the tolerance you exhibit may just be enough to remind them of the importance of remaining true to one’s word.

Should such a person repeatedly betray your sense of compassion, it’s probably time to reconsider the relationship. Depending upon the frequency of mistrust and the nature of the offense(s), prioritizing forgiving rather that forgetting may be the best (and healthiest) solution.

3. IMPROVE YOUR LISTENING SKILLS

Honing your listening skills may seem like an irrelevant solution, but hear us out. When we’re active listeners, we instantly improve the communication between the other person and us. This builds trust, and this trust can help mitigate potentially hostile thoughts and emotions.

Demonstrating to another that you’re truly listening accomplishes three things: (1) it shows that you care, (2) it shows that the other person’s thoughts and emotions matter, and (3) it establishes or reinforces feelings of empathy. Sometimes, a person that’s all worked up simply needs to be understood. Active listening accomplishes this need for understanding and much more.

4. PRACTICE RELAXATION

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), relaxation techniques “such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery can help calm down angry feelings.”

The APA provides some specific practices that may help:

– Breathe deeply from the diaphragm, as “chest breathing” will not promote relaxation.

– Repeat reassuring words, such as “take it easy,” “relax,” and “I’m in control” may help. It is recommended to practice deep breathing during this exercise.

– Using imagery, visualize something that provokes relaxation – either from experience or imagination.

– Nonstrenuous exercises (e.g. yoga, meditation, tai-chi) can assist with relaxing the muscles while promoting relaxation.

5. COGNITIVE RESTRUCTURING

Angry people tend to swear, curse, or act erratically when confronted with a stressor. The problem here is obvious – such behavior fuels bitter notions and renders impossible any potential solution.

Cognitive restructuring involves nothing more than changing the way we think. The reason this method is so effective, as it pertains to anger management, is that thought processes are instantly dramatized and exaggerated when we’re angry.

Here’s a practical example. We’re waiting in line at our favorite coffee spot when the customer facing the cashier complains that their order is messed up. Understanding that resolving this problem will take time, a cynical monolog begins to surface in our minds. Instead of saying “This sucks,” “I’m going to be late,” recognize the situation and rationally replace them with something like “This situation is out of my control,” “I’ll remain calm, and they’ll eventually figure it out,” etc.

When we make the conscious attempt to rationalize such thoughts, a favorable outcome is much more likely.

More importantly, when we practice this – and other techniques described above – we invite peace and contentment, instead of anger and other negative states of mind.