Best Use Of Vaseline

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. 

While tying the home owner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. 

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you. 

Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k/ll us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!" 

13 Mind-Blowing Facts About Kissing

You know that amazing feeling you get when you kiss someone you really like? Or maybe a partner from long ago who still gives you that tingly feeling? Kissing is more than just moving your lips and tongues in synchrony. Enjoy some fascinating yet unusual facts about kissing:

1• You burn between 10 to 15 calories in a romantic kiss- it depends on the duration and intimacy of the kiss, a kiss that lasts one minute can relieve your body of 26 calories.

2• 20 to 160 hours is the how much time the average person spends kissing during their lifetime (2 weeks approximately)

3• Sensitivity of the lips is 200 times higher than that of the fingers- like fingerprints or snowflakes, no two lip impressions are alike.

4• Men are more likely to initiate kissing before sex while women more so after.

5• Saliva contains salt, minerals ,and other substances that cause breath odor to exchange in an open mouth kiss. These changes regulate a woman’s receptivity to procreative activities, but the human mouth is also full of bacteria, when two people kiss they exchange between 10 million – 1 billion bacteria!

6• Approximately 2/3 of the population tip their head to the right when they kiss.

Mom Told Her Daughter Not To Take The Dog Out, But She Never Expected This To Happen

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?

Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

"What's that mean?" asked the child.

"Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."

The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here."
He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block." The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.