This Guy Isn’t Making Love to His Girlfriend Tonight. the Reason Why Is Hilarious.

Last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. As our passion began to heat up she said, “I don’t feel like it. I just want you to hold me.”

I said, “WHAT?! What was that?!”

She said, “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?” Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The next day I took off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big department store. I walked around with her as she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to go with her new clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each outfit.” We went on to the jewelry counter where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. She was so excited. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet. I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was nearing $exual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Never Lie to a Smart Women

Man on phone: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We’re leaving from office & I’ll swing by the house to pick my things. Oh, Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas!”

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy, but being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said.

The following weekend he came home a little tired but looking good…

The wife welcomed him & asked if he caught many fish?

He said “Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill & a few Swordfish. But why didn’t u pack my blue silk pyjamas?”

You’ll love the answer..!!

She says, “I did…..They’re in your fishing box”

Game over !!

Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed ...

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.

I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.


It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.