How to Treat a Girl?

1. Whatever you do, don’t just show up at their house…they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. Don’t cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out.

3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn’t even wait for the damn hat.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they’re beautiful.

5. Don’t refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it’s because they’re jealous.

6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.

7. Don’t be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they’re going out with you in the first place, it’s because they like being in your arms.

8. You can be dirty minded in private, really…most of them are not offended by it…

9. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.

10. Most of them don’t mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it .

11. Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!

Angry Wife Joke

Wife comes late at night & quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two!

She reaches for a Baseball bat & starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to drink water.

As she enters, she sees her husband there reading a magazine..

Husband says..”Hi Darling !! Your Parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our Bedroom. Hope you have said hello to them!”