Why I Fired My Secretary


This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn’t feel like waking up that morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.” I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… They will remember.

My kids came trampling down the stairs to breakfast, ate their breakfast, and didn’t say a word to me. So when I made it out of the house and started for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Joanne said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!” It felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. I worked in a zombie like fashion until about one o’clock, when Joanne knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your Birthday, why don’t we go out for lunch, just you and me.” I said, “Thanks, Joanne, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”

We went to lunch but not where we’d normally go. Instead she took me to a quiet bistro with a private table. We had a couple of mixed drinks and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Joanne said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t have to go right back to the office, do we?” I replied with “I suppose not. What do you have in mind?” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”

After arriving at her apartment, Joanne turned to me and said, “Boss if you don’t mind, I’m gonna to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.” “Ok.” I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake…

Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends, and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.

And I just sat there…

On the couch…

Naked.

Here are amazing uses of Vicks…


Vicks VapoRub is one of the homemade remedies to get rid of belly fat and cold. It also helps to get silky and smooth skin. It is basically a topical analgesic that contains a number of ingredients including camphor, menthol, eucalyptus and some other ingredients in a petroleum base.
It has been used for getting relief from headaches, cold, cough, congested nose, and chest and throat stuffiness. In addition, Vicks VapoRub can also be used in many ways.
Vicks is a supposed treatment for many diseases than just a congested chest. Here are amazing uses of Vicks:
1) Keeps mosquitoes away
Vicks can be used to keep mosquitoes away. You can do this by applying a little bit of Vaseline on your clothing and skin.
2) Reduces sinus headaches
If you are suffering from sinus headache, Vicks helps you to get relief immediately. Apply Vicks below your nose and take a deep breath. The menthol from Vicks helps to get relief from headache and cold.
3) Ease acne
Vicks helps to clean your skin. You can just apply it n your acnes a few times daily. It will dry out your acne and sooth the affected area.
4) Keeps insects away
If you want to keep flies away, open the Vicks bottle. Mosquitoes will fly away. It will act as the best eco-friendly trick.
5) No more bruises
Apply a pinch of salt in Vicks VapoRub and apply it on a fresh bruise, It helps you to get rid of it immediately.