12 Habits of Unhappy People (and How to Avoid Having Them)

Happiness is something that we all strive to attain. As human beings we can accept the fact that: (a) life is short, and (b) unhappiness makes our lives difficult. As is common knowledge, our habits have a big impact on the quality of life that we live; specifically, these habits directly impact our happiness (or lack thereof). To make a clear distinction, there is a strong difference between clinical depression and chronic unhappiness. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, while unhappiness is a disposition that is often acquired through how we choose to live our lives. Similar to depression, however, unhappiness can be diagnosed and treated.

Here are 12 habits that can cause unhappiness, all of which can be avoided.

1. Chronic Complaining

Happy and successful people do not complain much. On the other side, it seems that chronic complainers always have something negative to say… even when those around them are happy! The bottom line: we all have different circumstances that we are given in this lifetime, but in the end these circumstances are ours – fair or unfair, wanted or unwanted. Instead, seek solutions to problems instead of complaining, which leads to nowhere.

2. Being critical – of self and others

How we talk to ourselves shapes our self-image, for better or worse. Self-worth is an essential component to our happiness, and feeling good about ourselves is a right that we all have. Realize when mistakes are made, accept them, and move on…don’t engage in negative self-talk. Further, respect the inherent differences of others and recognize their right to live happily and without undue criticism.

3. Living beyond means

We live in a materialistic society, one where we are constantly bombarded with advertisements for the latest car, gadget, or credit card; all promising an easier, more fulfilling existence. Don’t believe it for a second. While purchasing a new product may provide a needed emotional boost, it doesn’t last. Ever heard the term “buyer’s remorse”? It exists for a reason. Instead, seek out something to do that doesn’t involve whipping out a piece of plastic – exercise, reading, sightseeing, etc. – anything brings satisfaction without the debt.

4. Negative addictions

Most things are good in moderation – food, a drink or two, entertainment… it’s when these things take center stage in our lives that it becomes a problem. Unfortunately, many good people have met their end through addictive habits, especially through dependence on alcohol and drugs. A great preventative measure and remedy to these addictions? Finding and living our passions to the greatest extent possible (see #8).

12 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Avoid

Here Are 12 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Avoid

1. THEY DON’T LET THEIR FEELINGS GO UNCHECKED.

According to psychologist and author Daniel Goleman, one of the pioneers of emotional intelligence, self-awareness is one of the five main attributes of those with a high EQ. Essentially, emotionally intelligent people have a high level of mindfulness about their emotions and feelings, and possess a deep understanding of how these feelings affect them and the people around them.

They don’t allow their emotions to get out of hand, and they don’t ever ignore how they feel. They might think more with their heart rather than their head, but this makes them more sensitive to the feelings of themselves and others.

2. THEY DON’T DISMISS OTHER PEOPLE’S FEELINGS.

Empathy, another major characteristic of highly emotionally intelligent people, means that you deeply understand how someone else feels, and try to put yourself in their shoes. People with a high EQ don’t disregard how others feel; on the contrary, they actually want to decode the feelings of others because they have such compassion for them. They can even read people’s emotions on their face and gather information about their emotions based on body language. They can anticipate other people’s needs and are highly perceptive.

3. THEY DON’T ALLOW OTHERS TO CONTROL THEIR EMOTIONS.

People with a high EQ, while very sensitive, aim to maintain control of their feelings at all times, no matter what other people may say to them. They don’t let other people rain on their parade; they celebrate life and keep a positive attitude, even if they’re celebrating alone. Emotionally strong individuals have a resiliency about them, and bounce back quickly from rejection, betrayal, and other forms of negativity.

4. THEY AVOID THE VICTIM MENTALITY.

Because they have such a high awareness of their emotions, they realize that only they can control how they feel. They don’t blame others if they have a bad day, and they constantly regulate their emotions in order to cope best with what’s going on around them. They redirect negative emotions into a more productive activity or thought, and take full responsibility for how they feel.

They avoid complaining to their friends constantly about situations in their life. They don’t like to spend too much time in self-pity, and they motivate themselves to get out of unfavorable situations.

5. THEY DON’T BECOME COMPLACENT.

Emotionally intelligent people work hard to achieve their goals, and don’t allow themselves to stay in a slump. They believe in themselves, work through any fears they may have, and stay motivated to reach the finish line, whatever that looks like to them. They don’t avoid change; they seek ways out of their comfort zone because they know it will facilitate their growth and lead to a better future.

6. THEY DON’T RUMINATE ON THEIR FEELINGS.

Even though emotionally intelligent people stay in tune with their emotions, they don’t keep their focus entirely on their inward world. They know when to shift their attention outward and acknowledge the world around them – they know that living inside their head too much can create problems that were never there to begin with. They remain aware of their feelings, but they don’t let them overtake their entire life.