This Guy Isn’t Making Love to His Girlfriend Tonight. the Reason Why Is Hilarious.

Last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. As our passion began to heat up she said, “I don’t feel like it. I just want you to hold me.”

I said, “WHAT?! What was that?!”

She said, “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?” Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The next day I took off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big department store. I walked around with her as she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to go with her new clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each outfit.” We went on to the jewelry counter where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. She was so excited. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet. I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was nearing $exual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No baby, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, “WHAT?” I said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”

Just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Smartest Man in the World

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute and yelled to the passengers that they better jump, and he himself bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said “I’m a doctor, I save lives, so I must live,” and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, “I’m a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live.” He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, “My son, I’ve lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace.”

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, “Not to worry Father. The smartest man in the world just took off with my back pack.”

Moral: Your job doesn’t always define you, but being a Good Human being Does.

The Thirsty Crow - Moral Story

One hot day, a thirsty crow flew all over the fields looking for water. For a long time, he could not find any. He felt very weak, almost lost all hope. Suddenly, he saw a water jug below the tree. He flew straight down to see if there was any water inside. Yes, he could see some water inside the jug!

The crow tried to push his head into the jug. Sadly, he found that the neck of the jug was too narrow. Then he tried to push the jug to tilt for the water to flow out but the jug was too heavy.

The crow thought hard for a while. Then looking around it, he saw some pebbles. he suddenly had a good idea. he started picking up the pebbles one by one, dropping each into the jug. As more and more pebbles filled the jug, the water level kept rising. Soon it was high enough for the crow to drink. His plan had worked!

Moral: Think and work hard, you may find solution to any problem.