Polish Man Married A Canadian Girl

Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so, and although his English was far from perfect, the couple got on very well. One day, though, he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked if he could arrange a divorce for him, “Very quick”! 

The lawyer explained that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked these questions:

LAWYER: “Have you any grounds?”

POLE: An acre and half, and a nice 3 bedroom house.

LAWYER: “No, I mean what is the foundation of the case?”

POLE: “It is made of concrete, bricks & mortar.”

LAWYER: Does either of you have a real grudge?”

POLE: No, We have a carport and don’t need a grudge.

LAWYER: “I mean, what are your relations like?”

POLE: “All my relations live in Poland.”

LAWYER: “Is there any infidelity in your marriage?”

POLE: “Yes, we have hi-fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound.

LAWYER: “No, I mean does your wife beat you up?”

POLE: “No, I’m always up before her.”

LAWYER: “Why do you want this divorce?”

POLE: “She going to kill me!”

LAWYER: “What makes you think that?”

A Doctor and His Postcard Idea Humor

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.

“But how will I let you know the baby is born?” she asked. He replied, “Just send me a postcard and write ‘spaghetti’ on the back. I’ll take care of expenses.” Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by and then one day the doctor’s wife called him at the office and explained, “Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don’t understand what it means.” The doctor said, “Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you.”

Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest.

So the wife picked up the card and read, “‘Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti – Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.’”