10 Signs Your Partner Is Going to Cheat


Relationships can be extraordinarily complex. Combined with the individualistic peccadillos that each and every one of us possesses, precaution is a warranted measure when approaching someone with a (real or imaginary) predilection for infidelity.

In this piece, we present 10 signs of a potential cheater. As with any behavior, it can be difficult to decipher the intentions behind it. Relatedly, the more “symptoms” that are present, the likelier it is that a real problem exists.

THAT SAID, HERE ARE 10 SIGNS OF A POTENTIAL CHEATER:

1. THEY’RE EMOTIONALLY DISTANT

For the victim, this is pretty easy to observe but extraordinarily difficult to accept. Emotional detachment from someone you love is like a punch to the heart. Unfortunately, this disconnection is too often a prelude to relationship deterioration. For a potential cheater, it’s easier to distance oneself emotionally from someone than to confront the real problem. It’s a cowardly act, in many ways.

2. LACK OF $EX OR INTIMACY

When two people are in love with one another, it is natural for intimacy and/or sex to take place. In the event that the other person shows no interest in either, it may be a sign of infidelity. This is especially true is no prior issues existed in this area. If nothing else, this behavior is indicative of some type of emotional or physical disconnect. Regardless, given the importance of physical connection in a relationship, a serious discussion is in order.

3. THE NEED FOR “PRIVACY”

This is not to disregard the reality that every person – in a relationship or otherwise – requires a period of “me time,” and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. However, when the other half constantly says things like to “I need to be alone,” “Just let me be,” “I need some time to think,” etc. on an all-too-frequent basis there is almost certainly some type of problem.

4. A SUDDEN DEFENSIVE ATTITUDE

It’s normal for two people in a serious relationship to understand the differences between each other’s personalities. Flaws are generally understood and subsequently accepted. It is peculiar, then, for one half to suddenly become defensive regarding any observable shift in behavior. Rational dialogue is a necessity for any relationship; if this becomes a problem, then there’s likely some type of problem.

5. IRREGULAR FINANCIAL HABITS

Two people involved in a serious relationship understand the importance of monetary resources. Usually, any outgoing money is acknowledged and accounted for. If your partner, all of a sudden, drifts from this mutual understanding and engages in “splurges” for which they cannot account for, it may indeed be a sign of detachment at best – and infidelity, at worst.

6. BECOMING “FASHION-CONSCIOUS”

We all want to look our best for various reasons; most commonly, to look respectable and professional. However, an abrupt change in appearance without explanation is uncommon, especially for those who have shown little interest in the past. Those in a midlife crisis often cite a change in fashion as a sort of “motivation” to look younger and more presentable. Of course, the desire to appear more attractive to the opposite sex is a very real possibility.

7. THEY IGNORE YOUR “INNER CIRCLE”

One telltale sign of a cheater is a sudden disconnect from your circle of friends. It seems strange and may be a forewarning of some relationship problem. For cheaters, it is much easier and convenient to separate from those close to you than to be upfront about their true feelings. This is even more conspicuous if your other half and social circle were close at one point in time.

8. THEY GUARD THEIR PHONE/COMPUTER/ETC.

Nobody likes having their phone tampered with. In a serious relationship or marriage, however, it isn’t strange to meddle around with your partners phone. Really, it’s not that big of a deal…unless they either have something to hide, or are simply in a bad mood. If your significant other suddenly and atypically objects to what, was at one time, not an issue than it may warrant additional caution.

9. THEY’RE ALWAYS EXCESSIVELY LATE

Anyone in a committed relationship will tell you that a schedule is paramount to making things work. This is especially true if someone is married, has kids, or other obligations for which they are responsible for. A sudden abdication of responsible behavior is strange, particularly if that person cannot account for such conduct.

10. “SOMETHING CAME UP AT WORK”

Things happen at work. Sometimes, we’re asked to go “above and beyond” in order to do our jobs. Similar to many other things on this list, context is key. If your partner cannot explain the rationale behind such requests, then something is amiss. Having to work is a common and convenient excuse because it is so commonplace. That said, your partner should be able to fill you in

The Best Marriage Advice From A Divorced Man


“If we make the conscious decision to daily place our spouse’s desires and needs above our own, and that’s reciprocated, the marriage will succeed. Utter and complete selflessness. Isn’t this true in all healthy relationships?”

My advice after a divorce following 16 years of marriage, by Gerald Rogers.
Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had:
Never Stop Courting


Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it.

This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.
Protect Your Own Heart


Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife.

Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.
Fall In Love Over And Over Again


You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday.

SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.
Always See The Best In Her


Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love.

Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.
It’s Not Your Job To Change Or Fix Her


Your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

Take Full Accountability…


…For your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

Never Blame Your Wife If You…


get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed.

You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.
Allow Your Woman To Just Be


When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean.

The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET.
Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.
Be Silly…


Don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

Fill Her Soul Everyday…


Learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

Be Present


Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

Be Willing To Take Her $exually…


To carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

Don’t Be An Idiot


And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

Give Her Space


The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing.

(Okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)
Be Vulnerable…


You don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

Be Fully Transparent


If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds…

Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.
Never Stop Growing Together


The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

Don’t Worry About Money


Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

Forgive Immediately…


And focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

Always Choose Love


ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity.
Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.
These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I loved being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.
If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love.
One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.
MENTHIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER.There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.