The biggest mistake most men make when talking to the women in their lives is to forget who their audience is. Most women are complex creatures because–in order to survive in a world that simultaneously exalts and devalues female sexuality—we must know how to be both virgin and whore in both the work and personal arenas of our lives.
Sounds complex, doesn’t it? It is. Now do you see why asking “direct” questions seems ever-so-charming to you but has the exact opposite impact on us?
Here are some examples of what not to do:
1) Don’t treat women as fungible objects. Just because your last five girlfriends loved getting busy in the shower to Echo and the Bunnymen doesn’t mean the next one will.
2) Don’t slam her friends. At best, it makes you look like you’re attempting to control her by isolating her from her support network. At worst, you seal your own doom. In all likelihood, her friends will be around longer than you will.
