1. The only person you’ve seen naked in the last year is yourself. Nothing wrong with it. We should all love our naked selves…but we should also let someone else appreciate our naked selves every now and again.
2. The last date you went on featured arm’s length dancing. I’m talking awkward middle school dance kind of dancing. Does anyone else remember how it was back then? If a guy liked you, he passed you a note during science class with a “check yes or no.” Nowadays, it’s all guessing and mind games. Uh, no thanks.
3. Even your grandma has stopped asking about your love life. People always used to asked me when I was going to settle down, if I was dating anyone special, etc. It always annoyed me so much. Like, why can’t I just be a single, independent woman who enjoys being alone? Now that everyone has stopped asking…I kind of miss it. Does everyone know I’m Forever Alone?
4. People start (silently) questioning your sexuality. I love boys. But I’m pretty sure there are members of my family as well as people I went to high school with who are now questioning which way my door swings. Whatever. Let them speculate!
5. Your favorite Friday night hobby is drinking wine and watching Glee. Nothing wrong with it. I may or may not be doing this right now. But people with vital love lives do not do this every Friday night.
6. You only check Facebook and Instagram when necessary during the Spring and Summer, because you know they’re wrought with engagement/pregnancy announcements. When you do check social media, it must be accompanied by an enormous bottle of wine.
7. You’re alone so often that you worry that the next time you’re around people you’ll forget you’re not alone and do something embarrassing. This may or may not be one of my biggest fears.
8. You keep thinking that if you could just get out of your town, job, school, that you might just find someone. But will you really? Really?